OH SWEET JESUS, look at this stupid, stupid Corgi! Man, I have seen some STUPID, mouth-breathing dogs in my time, but this idiot Corgi takes the cake. Earth to Corgi: You are dressed as a hot dog—you’re not an actual hot dog… so stop trying to eat yourself, stupid! Holy frikkin’ Christ in a cup. YOU ARE ONE STUPID CORGI. (Oh, and stay in your stupid cage, Corgi.)
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Stupid, Stupid Author: The Asshole
OH SWEET JESUS, read what this stupid, stupid author has written! I have read some pathetic works by STUPID, moronic “journalists” in my time, but this idiot author takes the cake. Earth to Author: This corgi has no concept of what a hot dog is. All she knows is that there’s something on her and she does not want it there. Stop trying to make yourself look good by making fun of people’s dogs, stupid author! Holy frikkin’ Christ in a cup. YOU ARE ONE STUPID AUTHOR. (Oh, and stay on your stupid internet, Author.)
But seriously, man. I can’t believe you get your sweet kicks by making fun of a PUPPY online. What kind of dog wouldn’t want this damn costume to come off, hotdog or not? You are a joyless, terrible individual.