Pretty cool, Felix Baumgartner… pretty cool. But this week is a veritable cornucopia of broken records, and last night on Conan, there was a new world record set… for the shortest freefall. (Sniff! His roommate and dog must be so proud!)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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