First of all, the Boys Scouts of America should go out of business for obvious reasons. HOWEVER! If they do decide to hang it up, I hope they’ll leave the “merit badge” system behind, because I can make use of that. Here’s a site that makes spoof merit badges—and while most are corny, they have a few winners including…

Blogging Merit Badge
  • Blogging Merit Badge
Remote Control Merit Badge
  • Remote Control Merit Badge
Democrat Merit Badge
  • Democrat Merit Badge
Goth Merit Badge
  • Goth Merit Badge
Underwear Burning Merit Badge
  • Underwear Burning Merit Badge

(That last one is the closest thing I could find to a “Gay Merit Badge.” More here!)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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