THIS JUST IN: British people are hilariously level-headed when it comes to the subject of children throwing triangular-shaped flapjacks at each other. WHAT DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU PEOPLE TO GET UPSET?!? THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM, OKAY?!!?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=B9BprtIC704

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)