I didn’t play team sports, surprise. I did do track and cross country (individual sports) and they helped me a lot with my awareness of my body—albeit not with group dynamics. Although I didn’t partake, I recognize and genuinely envy the emotional and psychological benefits of socializing in a physical format like team sports. That’s why it broke my sporting heart to read that in Atlanta, 12-year-old Madison Baxter was told she could no longer try out for football after playing for six years because the coach said she was “provoking impure thoughts.” My least favorite piece of misogyny this week is a 12-year-old girl being punished because others might view her as a sexual object.
I only hate a few things more than feeling objectified: one is Doctor Octopus, and the other is being blamed and punished for being the victim of objectification. “Hey, you remind me of something inhuman like a physical object such as a table! I’m going to punish you for being a table by putting a pile of Twilight books atop you.” Whether or not boys were sexually lusting after their teammate, she shouldn’t be punished for that. It’s not her fault, and she shouldn’t be chastised for it. By blaming someone ostensibly for having a body, the coach is imparting a complex of guilt for existing and taking up space. No one should feel guilty for taking up space… except maybe solar system eaters.
This fellow on facebook (not my friend) posted the article about Madison and wrote: “Am I wrong for agreeing with this? They give a dumb reason, but I’m just not comfortable with the idea of a woman playing football with men.”
Who cares what YOU’RE COMFORTABLE with, straight white man? I’m comfortable in a Princess Leia costume and nothing else, but we can’t always get what we want! The inherent underlying tone of entitlement is infuriating. The issue is whether or not a 12-year-old girl should be blamed for inciting sexual desires—not whether or not a woman should be allowed to play football, but thanks for taking it there, Television’s 1950s Gym Teacher.
It’s stressful to go through puberty, your body forming into that of a woman—but I had to shed my yeti skin sometime. Being 12 is such a vulnerable time. It must be so empowering for Madison to play a sport and step into the strength of her own body, while making friends. It’s horrible that this very empowerment morphed into something dehumanizing and shameful. It’s difficult to own our bodies, to take up space, to fight the guilt for existing drilled into us as women. The coach’s behavior is of the ilk that inspires body dysmorphia and slut shaming. And I hate anyone who inspires body dysmorphia and slut shaming to do anything besides star in a buddy cop movie.
Besides, any coach that says a 12-year-old little girl can’t play football because she would inspire too much lust has bigger problems… such as being labeled a pedophile.
Women have bodies that are beautiful. Everyone is wonderful and whole and amazing for existing. We shouldn’t be blamed for the desire we create. We shouldn’t be punished or have any privileges taken away because others’ can’t control their hormones. All that being said… football is the one with the melon shaped ball, right?
That has been my least favorite piece of misognyny this week, tune in next week to find out why Lassie doesn’t care that Timmy fell down the well this time!
perhaps a new coach is in order. One who doesn’t potentially have creepy thoughts about a 12 year old girl and one who will actually hold the other members of the team accountable for their own thoughts and actions?
It should be noted that, in a way, the rest of the team was punished too. They lost a player that had been on the team for 6 years, probably a good player as well. My jv football team at Franklin High had a female that kicked field goals. It would be a stretch to say she was any kind of distraction to the rest of us.
A few theories for consideration- not to persuade anyone, but I would be curious to get everyone’s perspective:
1. How is it possible that when a man makes a woman “feel uncomfortable” he’s a creepy misogynist, but when a woman makes a man feel uncomfortable he needs to stop whining?
2. Is this entire column (not just this week’s post) basically one big assertion that having a vagina entitles you to do whatever you want?
3. How is the author so adept at identifying an inflated sense of entitlement in others? Is this what psychologists call projection?
4. Is there anyone who knows anything about football, concussions, or basic human physiology, who thinks that 12 year olds (male or female) should be playing football?
5. Could it be possible that attractive people rarely assert that every person is beautiful, just by virtue of existing, but that unattractive people often make this assertion?
“straight white man” doesn’t like it? wtf?
I would bet there are one hell of a lot of black men, etc, out there who ain’t comfortable with a girl playing football on a boys team.
And I’m not against it in principal either, just your obvious and ignorant sexism in stating such a bullshit line.
YOU are my favorite example of dumb-headed misogyny this week.
Please, grow up. I can’t believe you are getting paid to spout off such stupid ‘insights’.
This comment thread. I hate it.
Wow iceberg, sound to me like you have some “mommy” issues. It’s not enough that women are paid less than their male counterparts (for the same quality of work I might add) but now you feel that men (the higher paid, more entitled throughout the overwhelmingly majority of the civilized world) are having their rights trampled upon by comedy? Wow… Take that all in, let it saturate your pores and really sink it so you can finally come to the conclusion that you are indeed an asshole.
Maybe a woman broke your heart, hey who hasn’t been there before right? Don’t disparage an entire gender based on it. In short, get over yourself and quit being a dick.
Babs Holm for President
The feeling of the oppressed towards their oppressor is different then the feeling vice versa… When black people are frustrated with the oppressing class it can hardly be considered racism. Same with woman’s feeling towards men. Some men would like to dismiss the validity. If a young girl can hold her own on a football team, she oughta be encouraged. The discouragement based on any reason, especially sexuality is discrimination. And oughta to be considered a civil rights legal issue. Men that can’t swallow that are bigots. Period.
“But I don’t WANNA think critically about my privilege as a man or move towards a better world for everyone! WAAAAAH DON’T WANNA! I WANNA STAY TRAPPED IN ALL MY FRUSTRATED DESIRES FOREVER! I want my experience to remain the default “normal” for everyone else cuz that’s how we’ve always done it and it’s always worked fine for me! Any question to that paradigm is the REAL SEXISM WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”
– The Boring Reactionary Loser Dudes in This Threa
Jessup, when you spout off facts about the wage disparity between women and men you should also be asking yourself why in a highly competetive capatalistic society are not employers slashing labor costs and hiring just women then?
How much of this should be attributed to when women drop out of the labor force to have children, while their male counterparts continue to progress in the workplace?
What careers do women tend to choose as opposed to what men have traditionally done?
The point of view you are taking is extremely simplistic.
Beyond that, grow a pair.
Iceberg. I detect you are ugly but dont believe it. Probably one of those, “i have a lot to offer why don’t women like me” boys. Cute.
So called “men’s rights” advocates are as annoying as “anti-mysogony” crusaders.
A woman wrestled in my high school, but they would not let men on the volleyball team. I have no problem with women playing men’s sports but if we are going to say that any sport without both mens and womens teams is co-ed then it should go both ways.
False equivalency is false.
And whupped is whupped.
@Jessi, agree completely, it is hard enough for women in sports. Often they are not encouraged to participate or dissuaded from doing so. Particularly when it involves mens sports.
THESE COLUMNS KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER! I LOOK FORWARD TO RECEIVING YOUR NEWSLETTER.