For anyone still suffering from PTSD thanks to Cameron Diaz’s unbelievably awful turn in The Counselor, here’s some terrible news: She’s in another movie! Specifically the Annie remake produced by Jay-Z and Will Smith, who in a perfect would would be collaborating on… I don’t know. Not this? A movie based on “He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper,” maybe. He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper, This Is a Movie. Anyway, you’d think if Jay-Z was going to remake Annie he’d turn Annie into something moderately enjoyable, but based on the trailer, this Annie looks exactly the same as any other Annie, despite starring the goddamn delightful Quvenzhané Wallis from Beasts of the Southern Wild. And Cameron Diaz. Consider this your Cameron Diaz trigger warning.

Wait, my mistake, that was a video you actually might enjoy. Here’s the Annie trailer.

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.

One reply on “Cameron Diaz: Still Terrible!”

  1. 1) This trailer looks awesome

    2) Cameron Diaz is a great comedian, just keep her away from drama

    3) Someone who lived on the other side of the courtyard in my Sophomore dorm had Jay-z song on repeat for about a month. It sounded like a bunch of ghost children haunting us 24-7. I still get PTSD hearing it.

Comments are closed.