Following today’s astonishing chase in Arizona in which two llamas led the entire city on an extended merry (and hilarious) chase, the Portland Mercury is pleased to announce our next big city-wide event…
THE PORTLAND MERCURY DOWNTOWN LLAMA DRAMA
Basically, it goes like this: We’re renting 50 llamas. Each one will be fitted with a saddlebag emblazoned with our logo, and filled with cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Then we let them loose downtown, and you chase them, trying to get the beer. Meanwhile the llamas run around like crazy, making everyone chasing them look like assholes. THE MOTHERFUCKING END.
Naturally we have no intention of applying for a permit, however, we hope that the Portland Police Department will enter into the spirit of our event by cordoning off a large section of downtown so the llamas don’t escape into the West Hills or (god forbid) make it across the bridges.
It is also important to note at this point that this plan is perfect, and what could possibly go wrong? (Feel free to answer that question in the comments.)
- Courtesy ABC 15
- Courtesy ABC 15
P.S. In less important news: Net neutrality.
This wouldn’t even crack the Top 5 Craziest Organized Events in PDX.