GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Got to get up the nerve to get my swerve on. Gotta do it fast or he’ll be gone. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Good news (I guess) for Portland Public Schools: The only two children who tested positive for high amounts of lead were poisoned at home, rather than at school. So… yay?

Fine, don’t celebrate yet: New lead testing results reveal that 23 schools have elevated levels of lead in their drinking water, with levels so high in four of them the EPA considers it to be “toxic waste.”

Speaking of casual poisoning, four Southeast residents are suing Precision Castparts to force the company to stop polluting.

Two teenage girls are suing Beaverton strip club Stars Cabaret for hiring them to dance nude and pimping them out to customers.

In case you missed it yesterday, Bernie Sanders finally gave Hillary Clinton his endorsement. (Which wasn’t exactly an rousing one… but you get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.)

It was probably only a matter of time, but now Donald Trump is comparing his election run to the Black Lives Matter movement—because he’s having to deal with a “rigged system” just like them! 🙁

Because the GOP cannot stop shooting themselves in the foot, their election year platform takes a tough (read: regressive and stupid) stance on transgender school children.

Now let’s look to the heavens for the WEATHER: Summer returns with a sunny high of 78 today, and 83 tomorrow!

And finally, if you have one-quarter of the commitment to your job that this drum corps keyboard player has… well, you might actually get something done today.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)