Thursday, March 14
8:00 NBC FRIENDS
Phoebe tries to get tickets to the Sting concert. OMIGOD! Do you think this show could get any older?!?
8:00 TBS THE GOONIES–Movie
(1985) A group of kids follow the treasure map of One-Eyed Willie. OMIGOD! Could this movie be any more homoerotic?!?
Friday, March 15
8:30 WB MY GUIDE TO BECOMING A ROCK STAR
A new sitcom about a rocker looking for fame and fortune which will be cancelled in… three… two… one… whoops! It’s gone.
9:00 TVLAND THREE’S COMPANY
The girls have little trouble convincing Mr. Roper (and the rest of us) that Jack is a homosexual.
Saturday, March 16
8:00 INTL DEJA MORT–Cinema
(1998) Joven se involucra en la industria de los filmes pornográficos.
8:00 AMC THE ABOMINABLE MR. PHIBES–Movie
(1971) Dr. Phibes gets back at the quacks who killed his wife by acting rather abominably.
Sunday, March 17
9:00 ABC ALIAS
The FBI puts Sydney’s double-agent status in jeopardy by keeping her away from SD-6 and her closet of sexy wigs and dresses.
9:00 PAX BONANZA
Hoss becomes convinced he’s seen a leprechaun! Ohhh, stupid, fat Hoss!
Monday, March 18
8:30 CBS BABY BOB
Debut! A couple’s baby has the uncanny ability to talk just like an adult asshole.
Tuesday, March 19
8:30 FOX ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE
Debut! Conan O’Brien’s old sidekick gets his own TV sitcom that
definitely might not stink.
10:30 MTV THE OSBOURNES
The Osbourne family holds a house meeting when Papa Ozzy refuses to put
on a shirt.
Wednesday, March 20
9:30 ABC THE JOB
In this “very special episode,” Dennis Leary’s mistress threatens to rat on him to his extremely jealous wife.