Thursday, April 25
8:00 FOX THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK–Movie
(1980) While Luke is sitting on his ass in a swamp talking to a puppet, Hans and Leia are getting their “freak on” with Lando Calrissian!
9:00 NBC WILL & GRACE
This oughtta send chills up your spine: Michael Douglas guest stars as a gay cop with the hots for Will!
Friday, April 26
8:00 FOX WHEN ANIMALS INVADE YOUR HOME
Video footage of homes that are invaded by monkeys, bears, snakes, and cats who piss in your clean basket of laundry.
10:00 DSC CRIME SCENE CLEAN-UP
A profile of Ron Gospodarski; the poor sonofabitch who has to clean up after homicides, accidents, and suicides.
Saturday, April 27
7:30 AMC THE ICE STORM–Movie
(1997) Ang Lee’s terrific flick about suburban ennui and sex in the ’70s!
9:00 FOX THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR–Movie
(1999) Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo star as sexy grandpa and grandma jewel thieves.
Sunday, April 28
8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS
Bart creates an animated series based on his own life–which hopefully will be funnier than the actual animated series of his life.
8:00 ABC THE SIXTH SENSE–Movie
(1999) A kid complains of “seeing dead people,” while dead people threaten to “give him something to complain about.”
Monday, April 29
9:00 ABC GILDA RADNER: IT’S ALWAYS SOMETHING–Movie
(2002) Jami Gertz plays the much-loved SNL regular who died of cancer. Prepare to cry like a goddam baby.
Tuesday, April 30
8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Anya plots revenge on Xander for dumping her on their wedding day!
9:00 WB SMALLVILLE
A candidate for student government eliminates the competition by mentally commanding bees to kill ’em.
Wednesday, May 1
10:00 CBS 48 HOURS
‘N Sync hottie Justin Timberlake discusses his influence on teens and why he broke Britney’s heart– that jerk!