As the 60 Minutes interview with adult film star Stormy Daniels approaches and President Trump’s legal team attempts to block it from airing, some have expected the president’s evangelical support base to wane. But just the opposite has happened.
Trump is accused of having an affair with Daniels in 2006–just four months after the birth of his son Barron with his then-wife and current archenemy, Melania.
“What a lot of people don’t know is that Joseph had an affair with a porn actress when Jesus was just three months old,” says Clyde Gittendorfer, a lifetime evangelical and staunch Trump supporter.
“And Mary, well, she just rolled her eyes and says, ‘Boys will be boys, I guess!’” Gittendorfer’s wife Barb chimes in, “At least according to Matthew 1:25, addendum A7.”
Barb holds up a copy of her Bible, now with pink, blue, and green draft revision sheets stuck between the original pages.
Barb and Clyde have been receiving Bible Updates from the National Organization of Partisan Evangelicals, or NOPE, since Trump was elected in November 2016.
“I have to say, it’s been real interesting,” Barb says while flipping through the new pages. “We’ve been reading the Bible our whole lives, and these new edits, well, they’ve taken a LOT of the pressure off!”