’Tis the season… sinus infection season! While public health authorities insist I’m “not a licensed medical professional,” I urge you to take heed of these sinus infection facts—YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT!
• How do sinus infections spread? Via this website! UH OH!
• Sinus infections are caused when mold rots your nasal passages, spreading down your throat and eventually to the deepest parts of your brain! Perhaps you should have practiced better intracranial hygiene.
• Got “leaky eyes”? That’s mold trying to wriggle its way out of your skull!
• Or maybe it’s pinkeye!
• Every TriMet bus is a disease coffin, and its passengers are pathogen puppets. Also there’s pee on that seat, watch out!
• Sinus infections have only one cure: ANTIBIOTICS! But because bacteria are becoming resistant to antibiotics, doctors are getting all stingy with them in an attempt to avoid a “global pandemic” that will supposedly kill “untold millions.” Thanks for NOTHING, stingy doctors! (Will you use antibiotics anyway? Will your hands be stained with the BLOOD OF FUTURE GENERATIONS?)
