Credit: Drew Angerer / Getty

Stay up to date on Portland news and politics. Looking for fun? Here are the best Things to Do in Portland today.

Stop fighting! YOURE TEARING ME APAAAAART!
“Stop fighting! YOU’RE TEARING ME APAAAAART!” Drew Angerer / Getty Images

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! I want to know, was it my imagination? Ooh, you know it was a sweet sensation. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Last night marked the second of two Democratic debates, and the clear stand-out moment was Kamala Harris’ takedown of (I’m sorry, but) the unworthy Joe Biden. She went hard on the former Veep, challenging his decision to have chummy relationships with segregationists. Pete Buttigieg also fared well, and in my mind, wouldn’t be a terrible choice for VP—but it was Harris’ night (although I still think that President Warren has a better ring to it).


But hold up… not everyone was swooning over Kamala:

For more on last night’s debate, read our Blair Stenvick’s recap here.

Yesterday the Supreme Court allowed Republicans to get away with their patently dishonest method of gerrymandering to swing elections their way, but also potentially blocked Trump’s attempt to add a racist citizenship question to the census. Today it was announced that they will rule on the president’s decision to shutter a program that protects 800,000 young dreamers from being deported. (Clip your nails before you bite them off.)

Because he is a traitorous American, Trump told Putin not to meddle in America’s coming election—but did so with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Twitter will be putting a warning label on tweets written by major political figures who defy their rules of no harassment and hate speech, AHEM AHEM AHEM DONALD TRUMP.

The New York Times is finally giving E. Jean Carroll the front-page treatment her rape accusation against Donald Trump deserves.

Today in “WHAT THE SHIT?!?”, this headline: “Alabama Woman Who Was Shot While Pregnant Is Charged in Fetus’s Death.”

It’s gonna be a HUGE day in the Women’s World Cup, as the USA takes on the equally great France for what will surely be an exciting match. The action starts at noon today on a bar’s TV screen near you!

RELATED: “The US women’s team have earned $90,000 in bonuses for reaching the World Cup quarter-finals, a sum that would be six times higher were they entitled to the same bonus structure as their men’s counterparts.”

IN LOCAL NEWS: You know it’s officially summer when dumb-shit right-wingers crawl out of their Vancouver hidey-hole and march around in Portland protesting who-knows-what. Tomorrow marks the first big protest of the summer with two different piles of shit: Proud Boys vs. Haley Adams’ #HimToo dorks. Both will be doing their best to goad Portlanders into making themselves look like the attackers, so don’t fall for it—because we all know whose side our cops are on.

Speaking of chickenshit right-wingers:

Also on Saturday, it’s the annual and wholly enjoyable World Naked Bike Ride! And this post right here will tell you everything you need to know and do!

It’s a sad state of affairs when our cops have to do this, but Portland Police will be leading active shooter training sessions for local religious congregations. Our Blair Stenvick has more on the story.

And don’t let this week slip by without participating in the Portland Mercury‘s WING WEEK! Six delicious wings from fantastic restaurants and bars for only $5?? MY MOUTH IS OPEN—SHOVE ‘EM IN!

And if you love comedy, get your tickets now for the latest heeee-larious edition of the I, Anonymous Show! It’s next Wednesday, laff-lovers!

Now let’s bust a cap in this WEATHER: Occasional showers today, but a mostly dry weekend with highs in the low-to-upper 70s.

And finally… THIS:

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

One reply on “Good Morning, News: Kamala Comes on Strong, US Women vs. France, and Right-Wing Dumb-Shits to Visit Portland This Weekend”

  1. Not Ready For Reality TeeVee?

    “I laughed at this and if it makes me a bad person then I guess we’ll both just have to learn to live with that.”

    ‘Cause, what could possibly be Funnier than a kid, terrorized by an amphibian — who tried to jump right directly into his open pie hole, in a vain attempt to asphixiate the terrified toddler, as most smaller amphibians are wont to do, missing his mark (and certain suffocation) by the tiniest of fractions.

    Gosh, so damn Close to making a quick $10K on America’s “Funniest” Home Videos. Oh, well.

    Maybe next time?

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