It’s not hard to see that male toxicity causes many of the world’s problems. It’s often the centerpiece of wars and religion, as well as leading to bullying, domestic abuse, and sexual assault, while also thriving in less obvious forms such as sports, comedy, and Star Wars subreddits. But women and others along the gender spectrum aren’t the only ones who suffer from this toxicity—men are its victims as well, since the pressure to conform to stereotypical cultural norms often result in depression, stress, substance abuse, and even suicide. While educating adults about how toxic behavior harms everyone can help mitigate the problem, a more favorable solution could lie in stopping male toxicity before it takes root in young boys.
Christy Wheeler is a counselor at Benson High School in Portland, as well as a recipient of Oregon’s Counselor of the Year. During her previous tenure as a counselor at Sellwood Middle School, she and other members of the administration became alarmed at a sudden uptick in homophobic language and hate speech among boy students.
“We would hear them say things like ‘man up,’ ‘that’s so gay,’ ‘there are only two genders,’ or refer to other boys as ‘pussies,’” Wheeler says. “The administrative team and I wanted a plan that would address this negative language while counteracting the stereotypes that can really harm boys.”
With the school’s help, Wheeler conducted two workshops with 7th and 8th grade males designed to open up a conversation about what happens when one is “boxed in” by gender stereotypes.
