Thursday, June 5
9:00 WB THE JAMIE KENNEDY EXPERIMENTJamie goes to Las Vegas disguised as the rudest gambler ever and gets his legs broken by the mob.
9:00 MTV 2003 MTV MOVIE AWARDSAmerican Pie‘s Seann William Scott and *NSYNCer Justin Timberlake host this annual salute to Vin Diesel.
Friday, June 6
8:00 FOX FASTLANEThough cancelled, you can still catch up on this hee-lariously cheesy action show, starting with tonight’s pilot!
9:00 ANI PET STARReally bored owners teach their pets ridiculously useless tricks. Tonight: a xylophone-playing pig!
Saturday, June 7
8:00 ABC SOUTH PACIFIC–Movie(1958) American naval forces spread syphilis to the natives of a South Pacific island in this feel-good musical.
8:00 FAM THE BAD NEWS BEARS–Movie(1976) Walter Matthau teaches a bunch of losers the fine art of playing baseball (starting with cursing and drinking beer).
Sunday, June 8
8:00 VH1 RISKY BUSINESS—Movie(1983) A Chicago youth (Tom Cruise) raises money for Princeton the old-fashioned way: setting up a whorehouse in his parent’s place!
10:30 MTV JACKASSIt’s another normal day when Johnny gets doused by a fireman’s hose, and Steve-O gets his butt cheeks stapled together.
Monday, June 9
8:00 FOX TEST THE NATIONThe studio audience and viewers at home are given an IQ test; hosted by the smartest woman in America, Leeza Gibbons.
8:00 HBO CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASMLarry gets unwanted attention for his offensive pants, and for calling his wife “Hitler.”
Tuesday, June 10
8:00 WB SMALLVILLESweet and innocent Clark goes buck-wild after slipping on a red kryptonite class ring!
10:00 FX LUCKYLucky begins to wonder if living in Las Vegas is the wrong thing to do if you’re a compulsive gambler.
Wednesday, June 11
9:00 TRAV THE WORLD POKER TOURIt’s fast-paced, high-limit poker action on the high seas when professional card sharks play for one million smackers on a cruise ship.