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Blazer management reveal reasons behind trading beloved player CJ McCollum.
Blazer management reveal reasons behind trading beloved player CJ McCollum. Steph Chambers / Getty Sports

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! It’s TGIFriday, and weather-wise you can expect foggy mornings turning to sunny skies throughout the weekend with highs in the low 60s. Now it’s time to GUESS THE SONG LYRIC: “I was chillin’ with my Kool-Aid, when Miss Chilli came to relay that you had a thing for me. Finest thing you’d ever seen.” Now… LET’S GO TO PRESS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• According to data released by Multnomah County District Attorney Mike Schmidt, bias crimes directed at people because of their race, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, or disabilities have risen more than 40 percent year over year. It should also be noted that this count is probably wildly undercounted as these crimes are often misreported or not reported at all.

• Stop yelling for a second!! Blazers interim general manager Joe Cronin and head coach Chauncey Billups have responded to their controversial decision to shake up the team and trade beloved star CJ McCollum and veteran starters Norman Powell and Robert Covington, claiming “the roster had plateaued” and they needed to rebuild the currently losing team around star Damian Lillard in order to protect future seasons. Okay, now you may continue yelling!!

• More drama, courtesy of the beleaguered Newberg School Board: Director Ines Peña—one of only three minority members of the conservative leaning board who banned Black Lives Matter and Pride symbols—has resigned her post, citing a “toxic work environment” and letting her far-right co-workers know she will “no longer tolerate the emotional and psychological abuse.”

• A Portland company is getting into the home COVID test biz and are hoping for FDA approval for their new product which they say is as accurate as PCR tests, can give results in 15 minutes, and are much cheaper for the consumer—to the tune of $6 to $8 per test.

• If you’re looking for the best upcoming shows, hot new music to put in your ears, and upcoming cool stuff to look forward to, then look no further than the latest edition of Jenni Moore’s HEAR IN PORTLAND!

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• President Biden has signed an executive order that will give billions from seized Afghanistan assets to humanitarian aid in the country as well as the American families of victims of 9/11.

• Meanwhile, Biden is also warning Americans in Ukraine to get out of the country in advance of a possible Russian military invasion, adding “things could go crazy quickly.”

• Oregon Sens. Ron Wyden and New Mexico’s Martin Heinrich are sounding the alarm about recently declassified documents that say the CIA has been collecting Americans’ private information in mass, and clearly operating outside of the law.

• A gold-medal winning Russian skater could get her prizes yoinked after failing a drug test, and must survive a hearing in order to return to the ice next week.

• Today in MUSICAL HEROES:

• Do you love someone or something? Then let them (and the world) know by sending them a FREE Mercury Reader Valentine! Submissions are open until February 17, lovebirds!

• It’s back for 2022! America’s sexiest, funnest dirty movie fest, HUMP! Coming at ya starting February 24 at Revolution Hall—GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

• And finally… WHAT ARE YOU PACKING FOR YOUR HUSBAND’S LUNCH??

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)