As summer rumbles into view, it brings with it another innocuously themed Gay Pride Fest: “Everyday People.” Though some may complain about titles (especially ones that fetishize assimilation like this one), Pride is still a warmhearted get-together for the gay community—like a family reunion picnic, but with fewer mayonnaise-based dishes and more buttless chaps. Here’s a rundown of the weekend’s events; all will be held at the Tom McCall Waterfront Park, unless otherwise noted.
Saturday, June 18
2:25 pm—Benjamin Ruppert: Young, gay, and flighty fingered, 18-year-old Ruppert bangs out show tune-ish rock cabaret. Because as we all know, gays love show tunes!
2:50 pm—Portland Lesbian Choir: Hey, tongues are for singing, too!
3:20 pm—Clinton Street Cabaret (The Rocky Horror Picture Show): More show tunes! But this time it’s done up all dirty by the cult fanatics from the Clinton!
3:40 pm—Demimonde Slumber Party: If the scheduled time of this event didn’t tip you off already, this is not an actual slumber party. It is, however, the name of a female-fronted rock band from San Francisco via Eugene.
5:05 pm—DK PDX: Hipster drag kings show off their mannerisms with fake moustaches and clever skits. (Proving once again that queens are out and kings are king.)
6 pm—The Retros: Seattle cover band The Retros are all about the ’80s dance hits you remember from the radio and the clubs, as well as putting on a show with bright, matching outfits. As gay as that sounds, these guys are merely queer-friendly.
7:30 pm—Molli Paige Band: Lesbian rocker Molli Paige and her band debut a song that was inspired by Measure 36!
8:20 pm—669: Dance proud, friends, as the provocatively titled 669 unleashes an alt-pop set that’s sure to get you shakin’.
8:30 pm—Pride Warehouse Block Party: Although it’s not officially one of the Pride events, this is definitely going to be one of the best. The good people at Boxxes have arranged a night of live music, DJs, and a silent auction with Poison Waters. NE 9th & Flanders, $12-30
9 pm—Portland’s Pride Rebellion: Okay, so this isn’t technically part of Pride either. If you like your dance parties getting started after 9 pm though, this is your cue to ditch the elders and head across the river for a dance party featuring a performance by drag troupe Sissyboy, live electronic dance from Flava Kelly, as well as DJs Puppet and Hotpants. Bossanova, 722 E Burnside, $5
Sunday, June 19
10 am—Taking Pride in Stark: If you feel like partying, the folks at the bars Scandals, Silverado, The Eagle, Boxxes, and sex boutique Spartacus are tearing up the block with a DJ’d dance party that hits the streets. SW Stark between 10th & 11th, $3
11 am—Dyke March 2005: Check the naked boobies and neck ties, bring your poignant signs and banners, and enjoy the raucous celebrating at one of Pride’s most notorious events: The Dyke March. This year’s theme is “The Second Coming”–whatever the hell that means. Starts at 800 SW Park at O’Bryant Square
11:30 am—Portland Pride Parade: Here’s the event you’ve all been waiting for! Put on your rainbow-colored miniskirt, latex crop top, or whatever the heck and start spreading some gay pride. If nothing else, this is a great way to meet attractive singles in your area. Starts at NW Park and Davis, see map
1 pm—Mayor Tom Potter: The generous mayor has taken a whole five minutes out of his nap time to address Portland’s gay community. Oh Tom, stop–you’re too generous.
1:05 pm–Police Chief Derrick Foxworth: Derrick trumps Tom by giving the public 10 whole minutes!
1:45 pm—City Commissioner Sam Adams’ Keynote Address: Hear what Portland’s most professional and visible gay man has to say–for a whopping 15 minutes!
4:05 pm—Bear Dance: We’re assuming this includes hairy gay men (often referred to as “bears”) and a movement of the arms and legs (also referred to as “dancing”).
5 pm—Portland Queer Idol Finalists perform: Loud and proud queers have been auditioning all month to be crowned the Rose City’s Kelly Clarkson. Check their performances then text the name of your favorite singer to 1-800-QUE-ERID. No, don’t, just kidding. They are performing, though.
5:45 pm—Closing Address: It all comes to an end NOW. No more partying allowed. It is now officially time to go home and take a buddy nap.
Saturday, June 18
12:55 Opening address
1:15 Cathole
2:20 Cascade AIDS Project
2:25 Benjamin Ruppert
2:45 Basic Rights Oregon
2:50 Portland Lesbian Choir
3:15 Love Makes a Family
3:20 The Clinton Street Cabaret performs from The Rocky Horror Picture Show
3:40 Demimonde Slumber Party
4:20 Prize Raffle
4:25 One With Heart
4:45 Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center
5:05 DK PDX
5:35 Pride Northwest
5:40 Spirit of Pride Awards
5:50 Champion of Pride Awards
6:00 The Retros
7:30 Molli Paige Band
8:20 669
9:10 Rubberneck
Sunday, June 19
11:30 Pride Parade Starts
1:00 Tom Potter
1:05 Derrick Foxworth
1:15 Portland Gay Men’s Chorus
1:45 Sam Adams’ Keynote Address
2:00 Magdalen Hsu-Li
2:50 Portland Taiko
3:05 Lynn Frances Anderson
3:50 Live On Stage
4:00 Equity Foundation
4:05 Bear Dance
4:15 Imperial Sovereign Rose Court
4:25 Prize Raffle
4:30 Shout Out
5:00 Portland Queer Idol Finalists
5:45 Closing Address
I dont understand comments like” Tongues are made for singing too” . All people need to be seen for who they are inside, the kind of person they are, their soul. Not for who or what they do in bed. Thast whats wrong with alot of straight people..they focus too much on what gay people do in bed when they should be focusing on who they are as a person. So, my point is gay people shouldnt hurt themselves by also focusing on the sex part of it, even through joking. Love is love between two souls..whats between the legs has nothing to do with it.