If you’re reading this, you probably know the value of the Mercury’s news reporting, arts and culture coverage, event calendar, and the bevy of events we host throughout the year. The work we do helps our city shine, but we can’t do it without your support. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support!
GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋
Get ready for THONG weather, babies! It’s gonna be a sunny, sultry day with highs topping out at 87 degrees before settling down to a far more reasonable 70 degrees on Thursday with some morning showers. And now let’s read a thong-full of NEWS.
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• Governor Tina Kotek has reversed a decision that would have stopped the extradition of a former employee of the alternative newspaper Eugene Weekly who allegedly embezzled $300,000 from the business, thereby decimating the paper and leading to mass layoffs. The person handling extraditions for Kotek’s office originally decided not to pursue the suspected felon who had fled to Ohio due to the expense, but readers of the Weekly rightly lost their got-damned minds, and demanded that the governor reverse the decision. (Another reminder that reader support is critical to the survival of journalism, and keeping democracy strong. So thanks for all the support you’ve given the Mercury for the past 25 years! ❤️)
What’s the latest with the much anticipated James Beard Public Market? Our Janey Wong talks to the people behind the scene who explain why public markets are “critical to the culture and identity of cities and neighborhoods.”
It’s part of the Mercury Food Issue, on the streets now in 500+ places!
— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) May 27, 2025 at 4:51 PM
• Here’s your “Hello, Karen” headline of the day: “Oregon coast mom accused of stashing recording device in kindergartner’s backpack to eavesdrop on teacher.” A former teacher for Warrenton Grade School in Clatsop County, Laura Phelps, has filed a $1.3 million defamation suit against parent Mandi Simonsen—who is not only accused of illegally recording the educator, she also reportedly started a Facebook campaign of terror against Phelps. The ranting mom falsely accused Phelps of being a “sex offender” who had a “cuddle bed” in her classroom—which was actually just a reading loft for the children, and that the teacher never entered. Both egregious claims were investigated and (you’re not going to believe this, but) were ruled to be bullshit. Mandi is being accused of inflicting emotional distress on the teacher, as well as causing “loss of income and harm to Phelps’ reputation.” (Just curious: Can Mandi also be added to the national registry of Karens?)
• Good news for music lovers: The new 68,000-square-foot music and entertainment venue set to take up residence in the Lloyd Center Mall will begin construction this summer, according to the Portland Business Journal. Bankrolled by Portland concert promoter Monqui Presents and international music company AEG Presents, the venue will take over the mall’s former Nordstrom space, and is expected to seat up to 4,250 attendees. This is great news for music fans who often have to travel out of the city or state to see acts that often bypass Portland for not having an appropriate mid-sized venue.
• And good news for lovers of burgers and fried chicken, as well: The globally popular Jollibee fast food restaurant is set to open up its first Oregon location in Hillsboro at 10875 NE Cornell Road this Friday. Originating in the Philippines, Jollibee is one of the world’s fastest growing chains boasting more than 9,900 stores in 33 countries, serving fried chicken, burgers, and… spaghetti? Sure, why not… SPAGHETTI. It also has this very coy mascot which for an unknown reason gives me “feelings” in my swimsuit area.
• ICYMI, Portland has a new “best band” 👀 and our Nolan Parker has the reveal in this week’s edition of “Mercury Music Picks!” (Plus there’s lots of news, the shows you absolutely should not miss this week, AND Nolan also updated the MMP Spotify list with a litany of absolute bangers. MISS AT YOUR PERIL!)
Let’s go, trash pandas! It’s time for another hilarious edition of THE TRASH REPORT. In this week’s gossip: Marjorie Taylor Greene loses argument with robot, Paris Hilton has disgusting pizza practices, and this just in… Robert Pattinson smells like crayons.
— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) May 27, 2025 at 9:59 AM
IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:
• In King Fool news: Trump has lost yet another lawsuit (collect all 3,456) after a federal judge struck down an executive order to punish law firms which are perceived as “enemies” to the administration. The president had targeted elite law firm WilmerHale in particular, denying its attorneys access to federal buildings while also retaliating against clients of the firm, which… hey! Is a clear and direct violation of the First Amendment and the firm’s right to due process. (See what Trump has got me doing here? Defending lawyers! 🙄)
• Oh, and it should be noted that, this month alone, Trump has lost a whopping 96 percent of the lawsuits directed toward him at the district court level. This colossal barrage of embarrassments are giving Trump’s enemies (like NPR and Harvard) the courage to stand up against the orange despot—so maybe cowards such as Target and Mark Zuckerberg should join them?
• A tale of two criminals:
President Donald Trump will soon pardon Todd and Julie Chrisley, the former stars of USA Network’s “Chrisley Knows Best,” who were found guilty of fraud and tax evasion, the White House confirmed on Tuesday.
— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost.com) May 27, 2025 at 4:42 PM
“Joe Exotic” known as the “Tiger King” complained about being left out in President Donald Trump’s latest rounds of pardons in a post on X Tuesday.
— Raw Story (@rawstory.com) May 28, 2025 at 8:30 AM
• Another embarrassing failure for billionaire crybaby Elon Musk as his latest rocket BLEW UP IN HIS STUPID FACE. 😂 This is the third SpaceX test rocket in a row to ridiculously fail after leaving the launch pad, which was supposed to release a number of mock satellites as an experiment—but the door refused to open, which was followed by the rocket breaking apart and falling to earth. Sooooo… is it time to start referring to Elon’s spaceships as “Interstellar Cybertrucks”?
• In other news: The brain worm living inside HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s head announced yesterday that his department will no longer be recommending the COVID vaccine for “healthy” children, bypassing the advice from the CDC. A perfectly sane decision from someone who kidnaps baby bears and swims with his family in sewage.
Rick Derringer, “Hang On Sloopy” and “Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo” rock guitarist, has died. He was 77.
— Los Angeles Times (@latimes.com) May 27, 2025 at 2:15 PM
• And finally… “Cop Gets Run Over by Bull—Hilarity and a Perfect Rap Response Ensues.”
@chewkz Bull absolutely REGULATES cop😱
