THURSDAY, JANUARY 12
9:00 FOX THE O.C.
New Time Slot! Seth and the gang try to convince Harbor School officials that Marissa isn’t a gun-toting psychopath.
9:00 WB BEAUTY AND THE GEEK
Season Premiere! Socially inept geeks hook up with dumbass college babes in this quirky, sweet show.
9:30 ABC CRUMBS
Debut! Fred “Wonder Years” Savage is the gay son of nutso Jane Curtin in this probable rip-off of Arrested Development.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 13
10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
Job one for Commanders Adama and Cain: Blow away Cylons. Job two: Kill each other.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 14
9:00 SCIFI H.G. WELLS’ WAR OF THE WORLDS—Movie
(2005) C. Thomas “Ponyboy” Howell takes on those butt-poking aliens in another remake of the Wells classic.
10:00 AMC HUSTLE
Debut! A gang of con men screw their way through London in this entertaining action comedy.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 15
8:00 FOX 24
Season Premiere! Jack gets called out of retirement to kick another terrorist’s ass. He’s getting too old for this shit!
MONDAY, JANUARY 16
8:00 FOX 24
Time Slot Debut! Jack’s back with another two-hour whack at kicking terrorists in the crack. SMACK!
8:00 NBC GOLDEN GLOBES
The Hollywood Foreign Press celebrates film and TV. “Foreign”? Shouldn’t Jack Bauer be torturing these guys?
TUESDAY, JANUARY 17
8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
Season Premiere! Didn’t God say something about worshipping false idols? So why doesn’t He kill these people already??
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 18
9:00 ABC LOST
If it’s Wednesday, that must mean Michael’s running off into the jungle to look for Walt again.
9:00 FOX SKATING WITH CELEBRITIES
Debut! C-list celebs Todd Bridges, Debbie Gibson, and more bust their C-list asses on the ice!