THURSDAY, MAY 11
9:00 WB SMALLVILLE
After watching the season finale at 8 pm, catch this repeat featuring that stinkin’ fish stick, Aquaman!
9:00 FOX THAT ’70S SHOW
Series Finale! The series finale? I had no idea this show was still on the air!
FRIDAY, MAY 12
8:00 CBS KEITH BARRY: EXTRAORDINARY
Illusions from the magician and his celeb friends. (Hey, if he’s not drowning himself in a fishbowl, I’m not interested.)
SATURDAY, MAY 13
8:00 WB FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF—Movie
(1988) Matthew Broderick stars as a narcissist who has a great day at everyone else’s expense. Jerk!
8:00 SPIKE OUT OF REACH—Movie
(2004) Steven Seagal leaps into action to rescue his pen pal from white slavers. (Steven Seagal has a pen pal?)
SUNDAY, MAY 14
8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: EXILE ISLAND
Season Finale! Host Jeff Probst tries to act excited about another million-dollar winner.
8:00 NBC THE WEST WING
Series Finale! The very last episode of this Beltway fairy tale. Back to reality, folks!
MONDAY, MAY 15
8:00 FOX PRISON BREAK
Season Finale! The prisoners race for their lives, with Bellick in hot pursuit!
9:00 ABC GREY’S ANATOMY
Season Finale! Doctors pump each other with adrenaline shots to avoid boring each other to death.
TUESDAY, MAY 16
8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
With only three contestants left, Paula fights to stay sober.
10:00 CBS THE UNIT
Season Finale! Don’t miss this hilariously macho show starring that guy from the insurance commercials.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 17
8:00 UPN AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
Season Finale! In order to win, the final two models must compete in an “anorexia challenge.”
9:00 ABC LOST
After shooting two of the castaways, Michael pins it on “The Others” (who are really sick of being blamed for everything that goes wrong on the island)!