When it rains, it pours.
On the same day that Mayor Tom Potter announced that he wouldn’t be
seeking reelection next year, news broke that the gap in
Commissioner Erik Sten’s front teeth scored a 10 out of a
possible 10 from international gap-rating website LuckyGap.co.uk.
Sten heroically beat competitors like Maya Angelou, Elijah Wood,
David Letterman, and the mom from Good Times. He was visibly
moved, and surprised by the honor.
“It doesn’t get any better than a 10 out of 10,” he beamed. “I mean,
this amp doesn’t go to 11, right?”
In other insanely important city news, the committee to reform the
Rose Parade’s duct-taping policy continues apace. The committee
was formed when, bizarrely, Commissioner Randy Leonard was unable to
get enough votes to ban the practice of using duct tape to reserve
parade-watching spots. They met for the second time on Monday,
September 10, and are moving toward a resolution on the pressing
issue.
So far, the plan is to ban duct taping and other methods of
reserving spots in absentia, but to install bleachers along the parade
route and mark off numerous spaces for the disabled and their families.
Oh, and more Honey Buckets. You can never have too many Honey
Buckets.
If public restrooms are the answer to every city problem—as
recent months have suggested—perhaps they can save the mayor’s
chances of getting the Drug- and Prostitution-Free Zones (DFZs)
renewed. Coming as a shock to exactly no one, consultant John Campbell,
who was hired to analyze the DFZ exclusion data in lieu of a
long-promised oversight committee, didn’t have enough time to complete
his work by September 12.
That was the date the mayor’s office had scheduled for a hearing on
the DFZs, which expire at the end of the month. Now, the hearing’s been
pulled indefinitely, and there’s a strong chance the controversial
policy will die a quiet death.
At least for now. If Commissioner Sam Adams runs for mayor, that
could all change. Adams is supportive of the DFZs in theory, though he
has problems with the way Potter has failed to provide oversight. If he
moves into a position of control over public safety policy, the zones
could be resurrected.
Yet another name has been added to the list of possible candidates
for city council, should Adams run for mayor—Jeff
Bissonnette, organizing director for the Citizens’ Utility Board
and longtime consumer protection advocate.
“He’s got a base that should propel him toward public financing
[through Voter-Owned Elections],” Sten says.