Obama is creating a task force to oversee the rebuilding of the auto industry to be called the Department of Burning Rubber (I wish).

If you love reading about the final moments before airplane crashes, don’t miss this one!

British and French submarines collide in the Atlantic, granting me the perfect opportunity to break out my offensive dialects. “Sacre Bleu! You eeeediot!” “I say, old chap! Your submarine driving is lumpier than me mum’s custard!”

That was quick: new Illinois senator Roland Burris is suspected of perjury, and may be kicked out on his ass.

Singer Chris Brown is apologizing for allegedly abusing his girlfriend Rihanna. “I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and I am committed, with God’s help to… ahhhh, I am so full of shit.”

Internet, meet your newest sensation! The wailing, flopping Chinese woman who missed her flight!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=xbVw7entkxg%26hl%3Den%26fs%3D1

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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