Hello friends.
It would seem that the powers that be have given yours truly his very own Blazers playoff column in the paper. The bad news—other than the fact that it might only run this one week—is that I do not have a name for this column. Since I’m creatively bankrupt, and we’re going to press in a few hours, I’ve been told to present this quandary to the citizens of Blogtown:
If you can name my Blazers column, you’ll win a prize.
I have no clue what the prize will be (Low mileage PT Cruiser? Bag of rocks? Uncomfortable Massage?), but I promise it will be somewhere between “cool” and “somewhat decent.”
Also, please do not suggest: “Roy Vey: A Jew Kvetching about the Meshugener Blazers”
Evidently no one likes that title.
“Shav’s World” and then write the column from the perspective of Shavlik Randolph, who is healthy but inactive for the playoffs.
“Ruffin’ U Up!” each column only focuses on Michael Ruffin’s activities in the playoffs. I think he had 3 points in the first game.
Bust A Bucket
Ezra’s mother would be disappointed if she was still alive.
“Please support our advertisers by reading my column about trailblazers.”
Zerspectives
Portland Mercury Newspaper Trail Blazers Coverage: Rip City
Cut from Sports: Portland Mercury Trail Blazers Coverage
Skipped P.E.: Trail Blazers for the Mercury Demographic
Yes sir, I will: Trail Blazers coverage
“Blazers” and on the road: “Blazers Leave Home”
The Lonesome Crowded Rose Garden (except you’re sitting next to C.Jarman, awesome)
Bust a bucket, who’d a dunk it, Blazer duty, super sunk it, slammin’ geez it, killer threes it, go up-get it-got it-good!
“Blazers Look To Become Only 9th Team In NBA History To Win 1st Round Series After Falling Into 0-2 Hole”
I have no idea if that’s true, so you might want to fact check it before sending me my prize.
I’d say
Modesty Blaze
or
Blaze Lounge
maybe
Rutherford B. Blaze
Blazer tag
Perhaps Bon Jovi style – Blaze of Glory
“OMG BLZRS FTW”
– Rip City Revival – Arvydas Sabonis, where are you? – Rip City Riots – If Only Clyde Still Had His Glide – Young, Fun and Full of… Talent? – The Roses of Rip City – Basketball’s A Team Sport? – Kevin Duckworth Just Ducked His Head – It’s A TEAM sport – Private Party In The Rose Quarter – Brandon Roy Is Not A Team – Dino Hunting In The Land Of Red Balls –
and when they lose “…FML”
you can change the column name, it’s a computer
ODEN=BOWIE
Blazen hussy
Ball Sweat.
“FML: Mercury blogs Blazers”
Dropping dimes
Bucket Love
“JC Can Suck My Balls!”..I know this won’t win, but it’s got a nice dual meaning. Besides I no way want an uncomfortable massage from you.
Armpit action a-go-go
“I’m Rising With Them”
Trail Mix?
Rip Ditty?
Blazing Courtside
Blaze One
Straight Blazing
Blaze it Up
Bleeding Red and Black
Cherry Picking
Joey Crawford Has No Business Blowing a Whistle
Twenty Second Time Out
Box and One
Loose Balls Foul (Foul Loose Balls?)
Clutch White Guy
Corner Three
Points in the Paint
What is Mike Rice Talking About?
What the F is a Trail Cat?
Inside the Baller’s Studio
The Box Out
Dagger Shot
Nothing but Net
Quip City
What in Blazes!?
what in the wide wide world of sports is goin on here: a blazers column
caraeff cares less: trailblazers
Did i win this thing yet?
Blazed Donuts!
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