When you have three American hikers detained in Iran, who ya gonna call? SWISS… DIPLOMATS!
Holy shit, you guys! This “hikers detained in Iran” story has an Oregon connection! NOW YOU CAN CARE.
Henry Louis Gates: “Jeez, the things you gotta do just to have a beer with the President.”
The government’s “cash for clunkers” program gives Ford its first sales increase in two years, which is why I’m proposing a “sawbucks for sandwiches” program, in which I get $10 every time I make a sandwich.
Actor Ryan O’Neal accidentally hits on his own daughter, Tatum, at ex-wife’s Farrah Fawcett’s funeral. Wow. There are so many terrible things in that sentence.
Big oopsy in Turkey: Instead of imploding, a gigantic building topples on it’s side and rolls, nearly crushing a nearby neighborhood. Good thing Al Roker is around to make a stupid joke!
And finally, for those who love to squirm in awkward situations, Jimmy Kimmel digs up one of actor Seth Rogan’s more embarrassing moments—being cockblocked by Megan Fox. Fun starts at the 2:00 mark!
Those hikers aren’t even real people, man! The military is just trying to set up a reason for us to go to war!