Okay, so this guy dressed up his miniature pinscher as an AT-AT from Star Wars—which actually is the least cruel part of this video. The worst part is having an owner who not only enjoys humiliating you, but makes it insurmountably worse by ordering you to march around while he hums the Imperial March song. There’s not a lake of fire in Hell deep enough for you, pal.
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
It looks more like a Chihuahua, I think.
Wow. What a huge prick. That dog is so obviously miserable!
And that dude is so obviously stoned.