FOR THE BETTER PART of two decades, the rakish, charming Brendan Fraser has made our lives better through his contributions to cinema. Thank you, Brendan.
Encino Man (1992)—In his breakout role, Fraser played “Link,” a caveman dug up by Pauly Shore and Samwise Gamgee. Fraser would reprise his portrayal of Link in two other prestige pictures featuring Shore, Son in Law (1993) and In the Army Now (1994).
With Honors (1994)—A Harvard student (Fraser) adopts an irascible homeless dude (Joe Pesci). Little-known fact: This film is a documentary.
George of the Jungle (1997)—The first of Fraser’s lucrative forays into children’s entertainment, followed by Dudley Do-Right in 1999. I mostly remember that this one had an animatronic gorilla in it, which is usually a pretty good indicator of a film’s quality.
Gods and Monsters (1998) and The Quiet American (2002)—Fraser broadened his resume by appearing in films alongside such titans of cinema as Ian McKellen and Michael Caine. Sadly, neither of these films featured animatronic gorillas.
The Mummy (1999)—Fraser played Rick “Don’t Call Me Indiana Jones” O’Connell in these CG-heavy adventure flicks. Say what you will about The Mummy Returns (2001) and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), but any film series that includes both cannibal pygmies and friendly abominable snowmen is pretty fucking impressive in my book.
Inkheart (2008)—When German author Cornelia Funke’s YA novel was adapted for the screen, she insisted Fraser be cast—she had written the character of Mo “Silvertongue” Folchart with him in mind! In related news, I tried a silvertongue folchart once. Girlfriend did not like it.
Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D (2008)—This was mostly neat because you got to see how Fraser looked brushing his teeth in 3D!
Crash (2004) and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)—Keep this in mind: If it weren’t for Fraser, these films would have been even worse.
Furry Vengeance (2010)—Says Wikipedia: “Dan Sanders (Fraser) is a real estate developer who faces off with a group of angry animals, led by a raccoon, when one of his housing developments encroaches too far into the animal’s wilderness.” Look, I’m just saying it wouldn’t kill them to put an animatronic gorilla in there. He could be the raccoon’s muscle or something.
With Honors was good, but what about School Ties?
COWARDS!
Also: the forgettable Brain Candy cameo.