NEVER FORGET!!
NEVER FORGET!!
  • NEVER FORGET!!

Hey environmentalists who drenched Portland Hummers with acid! Today is your day to get drunk and light stuff on fire with more purpose than most days!

General Motors announced today that it will end the Hummer line once and for all, after sales dropped 67 percent since 2008.

What will happen to all the unused Hummer parking tickets? The anti-Hummer sites declaring the car the “the ultimate poseur vehicle”? The flicking-off-a-Hummer baseball shirt?

Sigh. This is the end of an era, guys. Now what are we going to hate on? A Prius just doesn’t inspire the same passion.

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

10 replies on “The Hummer Declared Dead at Age 30.”

  1. There are several studies out there that indicate the overall environmental impact of the Prius is actually much worse than that of the Hummer, due to the type of battery that the Prius uses. I’d say that’s worth hatin’ on, plus yuppies drive them so even better.

  2. Yeah, I can hardly wait till all these Prius’ batteries need to be replaced, cause I’ll bet you will see a lot of them on used car lots.

  3. Stop reproducing the human species to such an extreme amount and you can blow all the carbon out of your car you want.

  4. @boondoggle: Those studies are wrong, they used flawed methodology and therefor got the wrong conclusion. The traction battery is made out of nickel, in terms of actual environmental impact the starter battery, (lead acid) is much much worse than the traction battery. (Hummers have bigger starter batteries than Priuses.)

    @ujfoyt: The battery is comparable to about 20 laptop batteries in terms of capacity, only of a different chemistry, (quite a bit heavier, but more charge/discharge cycles.) And yes, 20 laptop batteries would run you ~$2000 if you bought them retail, but the Prius battery is less than $500 in chemicals. However, the market is currently saturated with batteries from totaled cars because there is no reason to replace the battery before 200,000 miles in the first place, the only people that are buying the things are people that are converting to plug in hybrids, (and people who tried to convert to plug in hybrids but did it wrong and set the existing one on fire. Yes, if you short out a battery of that size, it will do weird things. Don’t do that. Also, don’t stick your hand in the engine while it is turning, and don’t drink gasoline either. Moving on…)

  5. HOORAY! I want to go to a junk yard and jump up and down on top of some Hummers’ graves. Good riddance, you hideous militaristic behemoths!

  6. It may help you to get drunk and light stuff on fire with more purpose than most days,and inspire the same passion.

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    Mark

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