You know actor Michael Emerson as the unblinking Ben Linus on TV’s Lost. But apparently one of his earlier acting gigs was in prison training videos. Check out this one where a young Emerson tries to talk down a viciously spitting inmate. (Waitasecond… what if this isn’t a prison training video at all, but just another of Lost‘s “alternate realities”? Hey prison inmate! Stop your stupid screaming, or Ben’s gonna sic the smoke monster on you!!)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZDgbKJWDxcE%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)