Alright vampire fans, start speechifying!
Let this week’s True Blood discussion group COMMENCE!
This week’s was a pretty transitional episode. Seems like all the shit that got stirred up over the break has settled down a bit, giving the story some time to breathe.
Bill’s still gone but now we have a location: at the vampire King of Mississippi’s baroque mansion where he is forced to dine on not one, but three hoity-toity, cruelty-free blood dishes. That gelato looked pretty tasty, didn’t it? The King and his life partner/decorator want Bill to be their sheriff in a bad way, sending werewolves after him and Sookie. It’s enough to make you want to torch Lorena’s smirking face! Did that really happen?!
In other news, Tara is still alive. Lafayette trucked her out to see his poor mama, Ruby, who is kicked back at an institution spreading joy and happiness to her attendants. I’ve enjoyed how much Lafayette’s character has rounded out from the one-dimensional sass-dispenser of season one. Still, I don’t really give a shit about Tara’s mental state.
Looks like her bad relationship streak is going to continue, though, so I’m sure Tara’s never-ending dark night of the soul is going to continue. First Jason, then Sam, then Eggs, now a sexy, skinny, foreign vampire who’s been poking around in Sookie’s personal file (what was that file, by the way?). Don’t put that bottle of Wild Turkey away yet, Tara; you’ve got more heartache coming in the mail. Never let it be said that Tara can’t scrap, though. I liked seeing her knock those rednecks the fuck out.
I’m equally bored with Jason’s moping around. I know killing a dude is a BFD, but it was in the middle of a maenad attack! Give yourself a break, sunshine!
Meanwhile Andy’s getting some positive attention for once in his bumbling life. It was pretty great to see the triumphant duo of Jason and Andy riding again. Does this mean Jason is gonna become a cop? Has he finally found his purpose? And what was up with the mysterious blond Jason was chasing through the swamp? Jason looked like he wanted to break one of the cardinal rules of dating: never ask a girl out during a meth lab bust.
Meeeanwhile Jessica’s still playing Weekend at Bernie’s with her trucker friend until (gasp!) he’s gone! And she shut out Hoyt even though he luuuuhves her. Set me straight if I’m wrong, but couldn’t she have just eaten that body? It was probably too gross by this point but I’m blanking on if the True Blood vampires are the kind that can dig into a corpse or if they’re just interested in the red stuff. And she couldn’t have turned him either, right? He’d have to be buried and other rigmarole? Someone help me out with my vampire logistics.
Lastly and probably leastly, Sam met his blood family and ran around in dog-form with his whiny new brother. In a way I’m more interested in finding out more about shapeshifter culture than werewolf culture, but Sam is so milquetoast. Partly because it’s set far away and partly because no one seems to care that he’s gone this thread feels like an extra limb. What is it’s purpose? Sam’s search for his genetic family feels kinda like an inconsequential TB spin-off compared to Lorena getting her face meltified.
Oh yeah, and Eric and Godric were SS soldiers.
See ya next week!
Stray notes and quotes
Nazi werewolves?!
Did anyone else note the art in the Fangtasia bathroom? I saw a cartoon bat, a mermaid and what looked like a smoking Dutch boy.
Cooter.
Jason’s still holding out hope that Santa exists.
If you were a royal vampire how would you decorate: all gay Southern gothic like the King of Mississippi or Greco-Modern fuckpalace like Queen Sophie?
Sookie does a pretty good Bill impression. Say it with me: “Suck-ee!”
Werewolves love Let’s Make a Deal, apparently.
Terry has a pet armadillo named Felix that sleeps under his bed? Is that the cutest factoid in True Blood history?
I also appreciate that Terry has never killed anyone by accident. He’s a nurturer, baby!
“What are you doin’ eatin’ my chicken in the dark?”
“This is Jesus. He’s a Mess-ican but he ain’t raped me yet.”
1. I think the show is getting funnier, which pleases me.
2. I don’t get why everyone has the hots for Sookie. Anna Paquin is hot, but her character is quite annoying. Yes, nice body, but damn she is vanilla and not very bright.
3. Eric makes me so hot.
4. Damn, Mississippi vamps are super queen-y.