I’ll admit it: I’m completely bamboozled when it comes to buying presents for women. I usually end up getting them Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers, or a six pack of white granny panties. However! Now that I’ve seen this video, I know what to get even the most disaffected gal— A PAINTBALL GUN. Because apparently, women really, really, REALLY love receiving guns! Who knew?
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey

WSH, it might not be a good idea to buy a paintball gun for any of the office minions. Just sayin…
I wonder what would have happened if she would have gotten TWO guns…
Gun-gasm? Talk about getting ypour gun off!
you give the gift of Dr. Pepper Lipsmackers? that’s awesome!