Last week when we went to interview Mayor Sam Adams after his State of the City speech, I made a huge mistake. I told Adams that I liked his tie.
It somehow slipped my mind that Adams has this weird tradition where if you say you like his tie, he gives it to you.
So now I have his tie. And this is a problem for two reasons. 1) It’s a very nice tie. It’s David Donahue 100% silk, woven in Italy, handmade in USA. Similar ties are going for $94 at Nordstroms. 2) I can’t wear ties without looking like Avril Lavigne.
So what the hell do I do with this very expensive mayoral tie?! Help me out here, people.
Sell it and help him pay his legal bills.
auction it off for charity! NOT
1. Fashion it into a thong for Steve.
2. Remember in the future to never tell Steve that you like his thong.
I want it! I really want it!
What? This is Portland: go on Etsy and find a local crafter to turn it into some fashion you really will wear.
Use it to gather his DNA and frame him for some foul crime. It’ll be like Portland’s own Monica’s Blue Dress.
Now I sort of want to hang out in front of the Mayor’s office and ambush him with tie compliments.
One thing’s for sure; someone at the Merc needs to learn how to tie a fucking tie. Sheesh, you’re as embarrassing as my twelve-year-old son!
So that was THE tie he was wearing while he made the State of the City speech? If you don’t carefully pack that away, with an explanatory note, for your grandchildren I shall refuse to speak to you for at least a week.
Smirk you home wrecking vixen. We know what girls do to get a guys tie. I guess he is hetro-flexible now. I guess it must be true, you meet the right person, and your gender preference goes right out the window.
Rosy seems to always post the kinds of inappropriate things that, in spoken word, would elicit the most awkward of silences.
And @PRWalters, I thought the same thing. Double Windsor or GTFO!
@PRWalters – The tie tying is my fault. See! This is why I don’t deserve any sort of tie, much less a famous one.
You know what I appreciate?
I appreaciate that Sarah went to the trouble of photoshopping a drop shadow on the tie so as to lend that extra air of realism.
That’s salesmanship.
Fatboy! That’s no photoshoppery! That’s a random Darth Vader with an oven mitt that’s around the office. I had to use it because there are somehow no dogs in the office today.
APPRECIATION RESCINDED
I think all Sith Lords should wear ties and use the Force to tickle the enemy’s nostrils with them while dueling.
Put a bird on it and send the tie back.
I shall relieve you of this terrible burden. Just name the time, and I’ll come pick it up.
Get thee behind me, Spirit!
Another in the “that tie knot makes me sad” group.