A lot of people are missing from editorial today, doing god knows what. They SAY they’re at “interviews,” “working from home,” “visiting sick relatives,” “watching movies to review,” etc. But who knows for sure, right? Anyway, since so many are gone I thought it would be a good opportunity to snoop through their desk drawers.
But here’s the thing: Whenever I start to snoop through their drawers, I think to myself, “Hmm… I wonder if this is ethically icky? I mean… as part owner of the company, I OWN part of these desks, right? So if you think about it, I OWN the part that’s the desk drawer.”
But then I thought, if our readers DEMAND to see what’s in someone’s desk drawer, I kind of have an obligation to give them what they want, correct? And so… A POLL!
WHOSE DESK DRAWER WOULD YOU LIKE TO SNOOP INSIDE?
Voting ends at 3:30 pm today, at which point I’ll snoop inside the desk of the person who has the most votes, take a picture of my findings and post it on this blog. START VOTING, SNOOPS!
(Oh, and defend your choice in the comments, please.)
I voted Ezra because I might be able to score tickets.
Tickets to what? Who knows!
Oh god.
smirk is too boring for this to be funny. Courtney is a weirdo; there might be lulz in her desk.
I voted for Alison because I suspect she has been stealing all my lip balms when I am too drunk to notice.
Just to clarify… “Snoop in their drawers” isn’t a euphemism for “get in their pants,” right?
I have some sweet stuff in my desk! I just rooted through there to see if there’s anything I should remove before the poll ends and found a bunch of candy.
Huh, Kiala, I also had similar reasons for voting for Alison. Maybe now I’ll finally figure out where my earmuffs went.
wait, what? sarah got to pre-clean her desk?
I call shenanigans.
I have a draw filled with nothing but pug clothing. That said, vote Mirk!
@Kiala You fool, it was me all along! I have the lip balms! All of them!
Argh, I read Ezra’s comment too fast, and voted for him.
I was expecting to see butt plugs, and not ‘nothing but pug clothing’.
I thought we were snooping in people’s drawers, not their desks. BOO TO THAT.
Does the intern get a desk, or one of those folding card tables the kids eat at during Thanksgiving? Maybe you can just hold ’em upside down and shake the shit out of ’em?
I just remembered what it is like to live with Alison. DO NOT VOTE FOR HER. Save yourselves. It’s too late for me.
@atomic THIS EXPLAINS YOUR NEED FOR A BACKPACK!
Yeah, you totally can’t give them warning next time. Sneak in early and take the photos first, *then* let us choose. (And give us a hint which choice will be the most, ah, fun.)
The people who work at the Merc are too smart to leave something incriminating in their desk, unless they are maniacal and have a secret compartment, but even then what could it possibly be to be worth my time? Oh, and I am psychic and already know what you are hiding…