The back corner of Dan Miner’s Hollywood Liquor store has been taken over by a giant brown cabinet worth over $30,000. This hulking contraption is the first roll your own cigarette machine available in any liquor store in the state. Not only will it roll you a carton of cigarettes in about eight minutes, the cost per carton is currently only $29.95—about half of what a carton usually costs.
The low price is thanks to the lower state and federal taxes levy on roll your own tobacco versus packs of cigarettes. According to the Portland Tribune, the state estimates it will lose $7.13 in taxes for every carton sold from the newfangled machine.
But it’s a deal too good to pass up, so I brought along Mercury distro chief and experienced smoker (he’s been at it since age 12!) Jay Williams to see how it worked.
The big machine is technically called an “RYO Filling Station” and is made by an Ohio-based company.
First, Jay choose a style of filter and loaded into a metal box that we noted looked a lot like the Ghostbuster’s ghost trap. Miner and the Hollywood Liquor workers aren’t allowed to help out—even though it’s a robot that does the rolling, you have to be the one to load it up.
Jay then sticks the metal filter box into the machine and pours a bunch of tobacco into the top of the device. On a computer screen, he chooses the coarseness and then hits “start.”
The machine makes a rumbling, whirring noise and, after a few seconds, starts spitting out cigarettes one by one into a plastic box. Jay collates them in a carton, acknowledging that the process of actually sitting and waiting and packing the cigs makes him feel like an addict.
The whole process is only supposed to take eight minutes, but the machine jammed during our visit and it took a while of tweaking its innards to get it rolling again. Jay eventually did get his smokes, though, and was very pleased. He couldn’t tell the difference between them and his usual cancerstick of choice, American Spirits.
Smoke on, Jay!
My guess is that giving this machine any kind of press is a bad idea…
Whoops found a new tax law.
Jay collates them in a carton, acknowledging that the process of actually sitting and waiting and packing the cigs makes him feel like an addict.
no shit?
Do not demonize the machine. It does what it does.
The filling of this loophole will bring me much joy.
@towski: That D. B. Cooper look is working well for you.
@Fruit Cup: Why exactly? I don’t smoke but I don’t have a desire to tax and legislate it out of existence if it makes some people happy.
There’s a danger of the tax loophole being closed before Miner makes back the cost of the machine, but I guess he decided to roll with it.
@tk: The machine is not in compliance with the spirit of the previously approved law regarding the taxation of a vice product which constitutes a clear detriment to public health.
That said, if I had my way, smoking would be confined to public plastic tubes and people’s personal property. I’m allergic to cigarette smoke, so I’m not necessarily unbiased.
Looks like Jay’s enjoying that ciggy. It’ll taste even better once he gets to smoke it through a hole in his throat. Rock on, cool dude!
Euphonius has done the impossible. S/he’s made me want to take up smoking, just to piss him or her off.
Beautiful! Maybe if I keep commenting you’ll cut your throat?
No, but apparently I’ll get your goat.
with all that’s going on in the world you people are worried about a rolling machine?
Unbelievable
Oh, don’t worry about me Todd. I’d be happy as punch if you’d shorten your miserable life just to spite a total stranger. Go for it!
You kids quiet down. Your dad’s gonna be home any minute.
Oh, is he finished with yo’ mama then?
@Euphorismusnisns : what a cool avatar you have for this cybernetic age, rock on, dude. (Troll)
Long live the rolling machine and it´s choice of tobacco for it. FU.
Uh, glad you like it(?) Here in this cybernetic age… right back at ya Leaks (troll).
I encourage you all to start smoking as soon as possible. At this price point, how could you afford not to!
Oh, and my comment about feeling like an addict. That is a simplified version of my statement.
I said something along the lines of it forced me to look at my habit in a different manner. When I was sitting in middle of a liquor store digging cigarettes out of a tupperware container as I transferring them to my “to-go” box, I couldn’t help but ponder what the shit I was doing. I saw visions of frantic stoners dropping their last bits of shake in the carpet, junkies bumping the spoon as it cooks, etc. Generally I can successfully suppress any ideas that what I am doing will cause harm because I know that I will quit. At any given moment I have a whole speech locked and loaded about why I smoke, how much I loathe the desire for a risk-free society, but again, at that moment my diatribe was null. Shit got real. But luckily since then I’ve been able to swallow that reasonable thought right back where it belongs in the bottom of my ashtray. Smoke up friends!
I’ve never quite understood why non-smokers are so vicious in attacking smokers. It seems as though they harbour a deep hatred that allows them to say or do nearly anything. I wonder what motivates such a pathology? Did their smoking parents abuse them? Were they rejected socially as teens by smokers? Did they suffer from allergies (as one poster mentioned) and blame smokers for all the air pollution in our society (ignoring industry and automobiles, of course) and thus, their suffering?
I simply don’t understand. There are lots of things people do that aren’t healthy, or safe, and yet the people who get riled about smoking don’t seem to care about any of those things. They certainly don’t care about smokers as human beings. They’ve waged all out war against smoking supposedly, except that there is no care or therapy of any kind provided for those who want to stop smoking, and anyone who isn’t able or willing to quit is treated as a pariah, if not a criminal. What is even more sickening is the fact that the Federal government as well as many state governments tax cigarrettes at astronomic rates, and justify this as good for public health. And most smokers are not wealthy, or even middle class (what we have left of that in this country), and these self righteous anti smoking crusaders are aware of that.
Really, they aren’t waging a war on smoking….they’re warring against people who have done nothing to them, except be susceptible to a drug and not have the money, time or ability to get it out of their life. Oh, and smokers…such an easy target. The rich b*tch soccar Mom driving her giant SUV causes more damage to our world, but she doesn’t smoke so she’s ok. The “green” guy driving his Prius or whatever, who makes 6 figures easy- feels fine about denigrating smokers. Bet he couldn’t be so “green” without his fat paycheck to fund all those nice “green” amenities, vehicles, etc.
Seriously, it’s bizarre how ugly people with no stake in whether or not a person smokes can be. Why? Never mind. I never liked the racist bastards I encountered growing up in the South, or the condescending snots (who were also racist) from NY and surrounding areas who visited and looked down on anyone not from thier city, and I don’t like the self righteous holier-than-thou haters of smokers. Their attitudes and even their words are the same. The alleged anti smoking groups are actually anti smoker groups. Hate is hate is hate. Disguise it how you will…but the hate always shows.
Self-riotousness is more addictive than nicotine and twice as obnoxious. Lets tax that, even if you make your own.
Judging by the above comments, Portland must be one awesomely cheery town!
I wonder if I can walk in there with a couple of ounces of weed…