Check out this crazy book! Below the jump are two covers for the same book (there’s even more crazy ones out there, but these are the covers I have). Make up a plot for this book, Hitler and His Magic Unicorn Cycle The Iron Dream, post it in the comments, and the best one gets a magic bush that grows Laurelhurst tickets.
Hitler, secretly cryogenically frozen, awakes in 1982 and stumbles into a Judas Priest concert. His latent homosexual and heavy metal passions erupt and wash away the evils he did. “The Iron Dream” follows his adventures as he persues his new passion to become the leader of the top Priest tribute band with a twist of Bruce Dickinson styled vocals called… The Iron Dream!
Alternate title?
Leather daddy freedom riders: Hitler’s ride to glory and acceptance.
“It´s not me, It´s you: The Gaylords Pony Ridden World Advice”. Goddamit that book looks so fine.
-After being trusted with the first demo of the Band “The Monks”, Hitler mysteriously receives a motorcycle that has a built in ass dildo that accelerates in & out motion as he gives speed power to the Bike. He decides that after all being Gay it´s not so bad and that all of the gays shouldn´t be burned at the stake, or in hell, or in ovens.
His new Re-Birth journey begins as he stamps on himself a star in his chest and terrorizes the Nazis stationed on a Siberian Concentration Camp “Hells´s Angels Style” with high speed chases releasing those confined there. He changes his religion to “New Age”, but are few who remain suspicious of him, so he has to ride fast that bike for the rest of his life as he tries to make amends with the rest of humanity for what he calls “A small bigotry caused by a small penis reflex madness”.
He ends up with the band “Grateful Dead” as a Stage Manager.
The year is 2050 AD. Humanity basks in Utopian bliss. Decades of social engineering and genetic modifications have all but eliminated violence and hatred from our society. Who could have guessed this new-found peace and tranquility would be our undoing?
When strange and powerful aliens arrive from outer space, they have one goal, and one goal only: to eliminate the human race. As our peace-loving species is pushed to the brink of extinction, scientists concoct a desperate plan, code-named “The Iron Dream” to stave off total annihilation. Using experimental time travel technology, we go back into Earth’s history to find a man so bloodthirsty and so cruel, that he alone can re-educate mankind in the ways of violence, and turn the tide against our alien invaders.
Humanity’s worst villain is now our only hope.
Adolph Hitler is… The Iron Dream.
“Born to be re-viiiiiiled!” *guitar solo*
Alternate title:
THE THOUSAND YEAR BIKE
He didn’t mind that they had stolen his face. Or that they had grafted the uniform onto his body. But the plan had gone wrong; he was supposed to die in that parade, for his Fuhrer and his Motherland, but where were the assassins? And why did the National Socialist Party blame him for the mistake?
Now both sides want him dead, and with no way to conceal his identity, Hans Werner must make his way across the lands of Eastern Europe, facing trouble at the hands of both Axis and Allies, with only his trusty German-made motorbike to carry him to the promised land: the wastelands of Siberia.
Damn. I think tk’s idea is every bit as good as mine. I say we register these concepts with the Writer’s Guild of America, and then turn them into blockbuster summer films. We can release them as a double feature. You think Mel Gibson could play the lead?
It only took one test ride. “Yes,” thought Mel Gibson, “this is definitely the motorcycle for me.”
I’m on a quest to find this book so I can put in on the night stand in the guest room. “Banned in Germany — Burning Into History — Adolf Hitler’s Best Science Fiction Novel”? Oh yeah … that’ll clear out those freeloaders.
And the prize goes to pdxmatt! thanks for playing guys.