Coming soon to a beach near (at least a couple of hours’ drive from) you: Debris and flotsam from last month’s tsunami in Japan could be sloshing onto the West Coast in a year or two. Also still spilling into the ocean: Radioactive water.
A peace plan has surfaced in Libya, reportedly floated by one of Moammar Gaddafi’s sons. Under the plan, Qaddafi’s son would take over, but promise (with no fingers crossed!) to run things democratically. Outside the hushed corridors of diplomacy, battles raged, and rebel leaders told the media they want democracy, too.
Protests over a Quran bonfire led by a Florida “pastor” erupted again in American-occupied Afghanistan. A court trial over civilian killings and photos of U.S. soldiers posing with Afghan corpses officially aren’t helping.
In Pakistan, a suicide attack on a shrine sacred to Sufi Muslims, during an annual festival, has left as many as 41 people dead.
The Grand Ol’ Party want some more skin from sick olds (Medicare) and sick poors (Medicaid). A righteous standoff over the current federal budget is nowhere near over, but now Republicans want $4 trillion in cuts from next year’s spending plan.
Southwest has canceled 300 flights, and it’s inspecting 79 of its planes, after A HOLE RIPPED OPEN MID-FLIGHT in the fuselage of a 737 headed for Sacramento on Friday. No one died, but a flight attendant and a passenger were injured.
They survived Japan’s brutal occupation of China, and then the Cultural Revolution. And now it’s going to end like this: A 92-year-old woman, suffering from dementia, became the oldest woman ever tried for murder in Australia after stabbing her 98-year-old husband.
Donald Trump says stupid things, and then—magic!—lots of stupid people watch his shows. Is he really running for Barack Obama’s job? Or maybe just Glenn Beck’s?
Opening of night of Charlie Sheen’s awkward, ill-advised live show goes something like this: He comes out 45 minutes late, looking terrible; he bellows for a spell like a sideshow spectacle; “fans” demand stories about crack and hookers; the lights come on early; people start to boo; his handlers count their haul.
So, yeah. Awful. Not that you could tell by listening to this chucklefuck, practically shitting his pants in glee.
Qaddafi could give a better show than Sheen does. Pitch his tent onstage… have his “nurses” march around in formation… plus, the fans could riot and burn down the theater and Moammar would still be saying “They love me, they all love me!”
Maybe let Trump open for him. And Charlie Sheen could be the warm-up act. He could bomb and it would just help make The Donald and The Colonel look good.
BTW, am I doing this right? I’ve been training for years to take over as the new Todd Mecklem if necessary, and after his recent tawdry (heh!) death, I’ve inherited his passwords, Japanese fetish porn collection, and secret underground lair in the basement of the Waldo Block. I’ll attempt to maintain the standard of standardness for which the brand is known.
We want the real Todd Mack Mecklem back…
Well, if you’ve got a shovel and strong arms we can see how he’s doing…
I feel like I’m off to a rocky start. Luckily it’s Sunday, so nobody’s reading this.
So they buried a dummy…
You’ve been talking to his ex-wife, haven’t you?
lol
Guys, I’m so sorry. This joke has gone on too long. I’ve been trying for years to be the anti-anti-troll. Trolling through a complete lack of humor or relevancy. I think it worked; but maybe a bit too well. It’s rendered me an incomplete human being. Devoid of all soul and humanity.
Can you forgive me?
Macavity, my ancient adversary, I see that faking my death has flushed you out at last! Your IP address has been forwarded to me by my mole (well, more of a beauty mark) in the Mercury staff. (PS. When is a game not a game? When it’s afoot!)
YOU JUST COMMENTED ABOUT YOURSELF 10 TIMES!!! TEN GODDAMN FREAKING TIMES!!!!!!!!!!! If this suicide attempt doesn’t work, I’m calling you Leaky Todd going forward. (—> shoots self in head <---)
One was a fake and three were Leaky, so unless they’re both sockpuppets of mine (and even I’m not that diabolical) I don’t know how that makes ten. Count more carefully next time (if you already shot yourself in the head, please disregard the last statement).
Sockpuppets are made of Socks you freak!!!
– last paragraph not directed towards you Todd – If anything, am a last generation Bio-degradable Robot with advanced settings, “Bonus Round”. Don´t mention my name when you see fog, it remind me of my birthplace.
*reminds*