To the Jersey Shore wannabes at Devils Point,

Just because you’re “having a birthday party” does not mean you can all stand in a group and block the stage. I am a regular costumer who tips even if I have to sit way at the back because the place is packed. No, I do not have “my panties in a bunch”—all I expect is a little common decency, think about the others around you and don’t plant your fat ass right in front of the stage. The next big mistake you made was trying to grab me when all I was asking was for you to move three feet to the side so everyone could see, and I want to thank the bouncer for promptly kicking your asses out of the place. Now you can get in your stretch hummer and go back to whatever dark bridge you crawled out from under you trolls.—Anonymous

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

10 replies on “I, Anonymous: Down in Front!”

  4. Dear Blogtown,

    My favorite blog is making me vote too much today. It’s not even a freaking election year. I’m so full of angst and rage! AARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH I’M MAD!!!!!

    love,
    Anon

  5. He’s totes right.

    a) Devil’s Point is tiny and the available stageside real estate is limited. If you’re standing in front of the stage you’re actually effing over a very large sight line radius.

    b) People who actually walk to tip are golden folks in the club. Word up, anonodude!

  6. Everyone in this scenario is an entitled douche-face (except for the dancer and the bouncer, they’re just working). I hope they all get a flat tire on their way home tonight.

  9. What Graham said.

    And to elaborate, I’m pretty sure etiquette is out the window as soon as you enter a strip club.

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