Superman: now a bank robber

Superman: now a bank robber

  • Superman: now a bank robber

Despite the whimpering vart that was Green Lantern, Warner Bros. is bravely soldiering on to make another Superman movie so they can make some money before these pesky rights issues get really tricky because they really love Superman. They hired Zack Snyder to direct it; Snyder, most famous for fratboy erotica (300), skeevy otaku porn (Sucker Punch), soulless rehashes (Watchmen, Dawn of the Dead) and that movie about talking warrior owls, has yet to reveal much about his plans for Man of Steel. It’s hotly debated, for example, whether Snyder will shoot 70 percent of Man of Steel in slow-mo, or whether he’ll go the more risky route of shooting only 60 percent of it in slow-mo, but increasing his number of speed ramps by a factor of five.

Anyway, here’s the new Superman, Henry Cavill, in his super-suit! If you wanna examine every stitch and seam, Bobby “Fatboy” Roberts has an intense breakdown of Kryptonian fashion over at Nerd Puddle; all I have to add is that when I look at this, I imagine Cavill and Andrew Garfield having intimate phone conversations about the most effective ways to avoid rubber-chafing. “Ruffing,” they call it, and then they giggle, and then they wonder what Brandon Routh’s up to these days.

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.

3 replies on “Steve Said He’d Fire Me If I Didn’t Blog About the New Superman Costume”

  1. @b, his bigger muscles give him more surface area, which helps in defense (and maybe offense). So if, for instance, he sticks his arm out to block a bullet that’s about to hit some innocent bystanders, his larger arm [muscles] will have a greater chance of deflecting the bullet.

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