Stars and Stripes reports that an “Internet Jihadist” has called for the death of David Letterman, asking American Muslims to “cut the tongue of this lowly Jew and shut it forever.” This follows a joke Letterman made on his talk show about Osama bin Laden and senior al-Qaida muckety-muck Ilyas Kashmiri. OKAY, there’s a lot to unpack here, but let’s start at the beginning:
1) David Letterman? NOT A JEW. (Seriously, there’s nothing Jew-y about him—at all. What? Do we all look alike to you terrorists?)
2) “Internet jihadist” is the trademarked name and sole intellectual property of Blogtown commenters and anyone else using the moniker will have their tongue cut out.
Now here’s how the Jihadist describes Letterman’s supposedly blaphemous joke:
He showed his evil nature and deep hatred for Islam and Muslims, and said that Ilyas Kashmiri was killed and he joined bin Laden. Then the despicable one put his hand on his neck and demonstrated the way of slaughter!!
We ask Allah to paralyze his tongue and grant the sincere monotheists his neck. O Allah, amen.
Back to unpacking:
1) This guy cannot retell a joke.
2) Why bother “paralyzing his tongue” if you’re just going to cut off Letterman’s head afterward? Sounds kind of superfluous to me.
3) Is this because no one wants to play World of Warcraft with you? Go outside and ride a bicycle.
“I’m not a jihadist. I just play one on the internets.”