Newcomers’ Guide 2016

The Newcomers’ Guide to Portland 2016

The Official Guide for Those New to Portland, Who Don’t Know a Single Goddamn Thing.

People You Should Know

Portland Newbies? Meet the Portland Oldies (Who Are Totally Doing Rad Stuff)

How to Trick Someone into Letting You Live with Them

Appear to Be a Good Housemate with These Six Simple Secrets

Meet Your POC Communities

Your People Are Here, and Here’s Where to Find Them

Know Your Portland Beers!

You’re a Portlander Now—Drink Like It

Don’t Be a Dope About Legal Weed

The Newcomers’ Guide to Oregon Pot Laws

Hey... Newbie’s Gotta Eat!

Navigating Portland’s Grocery Stores Like a Local

Mass Transit: Reviewed

Succinct Critiques of the City’s More Popular Mass Transit Routes

These Parks Are Okay

Responding to Portland’s Worst Public Park Yelp Reviews

Fashion Do’s and Don’t You Dares

A Newbie’s Guide to Dressing in Portland

Where to See a Play (Without Wanting to Murder Oneself)

Shut Up! It Can Be Done, and Your Date Will Be So Impressed

New Portland Food for New Portland Humans

Eat These Dishes to Get a Taste for the Town

A Newcomer, Helping Newcomers

Advice from Someone Who Doesn’t Know What He’s Talking About

YOU’VE JUST MOVED TO OREGON—congrats! You may get some shade thrown your way, what with the massive influx of transplants and what it’s done to our housing market, and that many of you have relocated from cities that apparently don’t have traffic laws or any form of drivers’ education.

Perhaps one of the reasons that brought you to the Pacific Wonderland was our regulated cannabis marketplace. It’s pretty great, and we would like to keep it that way. You can do your part by understanding how it works, and, much like the Dude, abiding by some easy-to-follow rules.

Medical vs. Recreational (AKA Adult Use) Oregon has two cannabis programs—the Oregon Medical Marijuana Program (OMMP) and recreational.

Medical: OMMP requires that you qualify for the program by obtaining a form signed by a doctor stating that a limited number of conditions may be alleviated by use of cannabis. (Unlike California, insomnia and writer’s block don’t count.) This program has been helpful to thousands. The completed form and fees are sent to the state, and you determine if you want to grow your own cannabis as a patient, designate someone as your grower or a caregiver. Growers must file paperwork with the state as well, though caregivers do not, as their role is simply to obtain and deliver cannabis products to the patient. The benefits of having an OMMP card are that you may buy products without the current 25 percent sales tax rec buyers are charged, there are no limits on the amounts you may purchase, you may purchase stronger edibles, you may possess larger amounts than rec users, and you can grow/have your grower grow more plants than a rec user.

Recreational: Those 21 and over may grow four plants, as long as they are not within public view. You can purchase limited amounts of cannabis/cannabis products, albeit edibles with a lower potency than medical edibles. You can leave the house with one ounce, and have eight ounces back at home. These programs are run by two different state regulatory agencies, and you can get the complete list of rules by checking with them. The OMMP is operated by the Oregon Health Authority, and the recreational program is run by the Oregon Liquor Control Commission. Now that you have your jazz tobacco, where can you smoke/vape it? Outside of your home, virtually nowhere. (And if you rent, you may not be able to smoke there either.) It’s illegal to smoke/vape at the beach, in parks, on sidewalks, or indoors. In fact, you can’t use it anywhere but your home, as indoor smoking violates the Department of Environmental Quality’s Indoor Clean Air Act. You can smoke outside if you are out of public view, such as a parking lot with a fence. You can share cannabis with other adults, as long as you don’t charge anything, and it’s less than an ounce. With all that said, you can grow, possess, and give away cannabis—so cease and desist any bitching. Oh, and once again... welcome!