In celebration of the geek, the Mercury has set out to find the brainiest music buff in Portland with our monthly "Music Trivia Challenge!" As you undoubtedly recall, last month Mercury arts editrix Julianne Shepherd got her mental fanny spanked by our new champion, Sam Coombs of Quasi. Sam's band just released a new CD, Sword of God (Touch and Go), and says he is "looking forward to the Mercury dumping on it." But first things first! Sam will have to kick his cerebellum into high gear to defeat his newest challenger, the brilliant Sara Lund, ace drummer with the group Unwound. (Check out their latest CD, Leaves Turn Inside You. It's a pip!)

Here's how it works! Each contestant will be given one minute to answer ten questions that cover the vast spectrum of musical trivialities. The winner of the match will be declared "Grand Champion Music Geek" and then forced to take on a new challenger every month until they eventually are defeated, shamed, and become useless alcoholics, much like our own Julianne Shepherd.

As always, you are invited to play along and compare your brain-pan size with those of Sam and Sara. Answers can be found at the end, but first, we'll list the questions, followed by our contestant's responses. GOOD LUCK!

The Mercury Music Trivia Challenge!

1) What is Frank Black's (aka Black Francis) real name?
2) In 'Til Tuesday's video "Voices Carry," in what public forum does Aimee Mann finally lose her shit with her mean boyfriend?
3) What brooding, arty late '70s band was originally called "Warsaw"?
4) What is the Who doing on the cover for their album Who's Next?
5) Run-DMC sampled what famous rock song as the basis for their hit song, "It's Tricky"?
6) Chaka Khan's "I Feel for You" is actually a cover. Who wrote the original?
7) List the first names of all the New Kids on the Block.
8) What band was Doug Martsch a member of prior to Built to Spill?
9) The leftover members of Treepeople formed what band?
10) What current alterna-metal band does a cover of Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal"?

SAM'S ANSWERS!

1) Oooh I don't know it. WRONG!
2) At the ahhh opera. CORRECT!
3) Joy Division. CORRECT!
4) Pissing on a slab of concrete. CORRECT!
5) Whoa. "Jamie's Crying"? WRONG!
6) Mmm Prince. CORRECT!
7) It's buried in my brain somewhere, but I don't want to dig it up. WRONG!
8) Treepeople. CORRECT!
9) Uhmm uhmm WRONG!
10) I don't know. I really don't know. WRONG!

SARA'S ANSWERS!

1) Ha! Ha! I don't know! WRONG!
2) Ouch. I'm not doing very well. WRONG!
3) Joy Division? CORRECT!
4) Pissing on a wall! CORRECT!
5) Shit pass? WRONG!
6) Goddammit, I should know this one! I have the 45! WRONG!
7) There was that guy, Marky's brother? WRONG!
8) Treepeople! CORRECT!
9) One of them was in Violent Green. Does that count? WRONG!
10) Errr Papa Roach? WRONG!

AND WE HAVE A WINNER!

With a score of five to three, and STILL the Music Trivia Champion the winner is SAAAAAM COOOOOMBS!! Our thanks to a great challenger, Sara Lund, who unnecessarily slunk out of the building saying, "I deserved the beating I took." And as for Sam, he humbly invites all challengers: "I'm far from the intimidating champion you people make me out to be. Don't be afraid. Just step up to the plate."

Are YOU a music trivia whiz who thinks you can de-throne the humble genius Sam Coombs? Send a letter of interest to julianne@portlandmercury.com, and YOU may be chosen to participate in the next Mercury "Music Trivia Challenge!" Thank you and good night!

Answers! 1) Charles (Michael Kitteridge) Thompson III 2) The opera 3) Joy Division 4) Zipping up after urinating on a monolith 5) "My Sharona" by the Knack 6) Prince 7) Donnie, Jonathan, Jordan, Danny and Joey 8) Treepeople 9) Stuntman 10) Alien Ant Farm