Last week, Fox News decided to junk their long-running tagline “Fair and Balanced” for a new slogan, “Most Watched, Most Trusted”... and without even asking for our opinion! Here are some very suitable taglines that we think would be a much better fit. (You’re welcome, Fox News, and you owe us $150,000.)
“Over One Million Racist Grandpas Served”
“Cloying and Moist”
“Sean Hannity Is a Butthole”
“Groping Blindly for Something That Sounds Like Truth”
“Dangling Jowls, Racist Howls”
“We Set This Pile of Horseshit on Fire, and You Love It”
“The Broadcast Equivalent of Putting a Lawn Jockey in Front of Your House”
“Heyyy... We Have Those Same TruckNutz”
“Singlehandedly Keeping America’s Bowtie Industry Afloat Since 1996”
“Boys Will Be Boys”
“Don’t Check... Just Trust Us”
“We’re Totally Not Racist ;)”
“Wait... Are Women Allowed to Be Reporters?”
“The Future Home of State Media”
“The Muslims Are a-Comin’ for Your Applesauce!”
“Bill O’Reilly? Bill O’Reilly Who?”
“I Killed a Polar Bear with My Bare Hands”
“Fewer Harassers, Same Great Dog-Whistles”
“Going to Start Using the N-Word Any Day Now”
“America’s Locker Room”
“We Have That One Gay Guy, So We’re Good... Right?”
“Теперь превратите золото в наличные деньги!”
“A Better Way to Lie”
“Ask Your Uncle, He Knows We’re Right”
“Cucks R Us”
“Blaming It on Obama Since 2008”
“News for Olds”
“Happily Fulfilling the Mission of Our Glorious Leader”
“Grabbing News by the Pussy”
