You know things are bad for Blazer bigmen when fans are thankful that they leave the court via wheelchair, not stretcher. In last night's 100-96 preseason loss to the Utah Jazz, Jeff Pendergraph was the latest Portland big to be escorted off the court in a substantial amount of pain. After trying to add some vowels to the first name of Utah Jazz player Kyrylo Fesenko, Pendergraph collapsed to the hardwood and was wheeled off to the glue factory where the team keeps the shattered remains of Greg Oden and Joel Przybilla.

But good news! Pendergraph (not a doctor) took to the Twitters last night to proclaim (not a doctor) that the injury (not a doctor) is "nothing major." He's back in Portland and the team should know more tonight. Sensing that his team might need a fresh farm of cadavered limbs on call at all times, Coach Nate McMillan made this comment last night: "I think we have to look at getting another big guy. We are down to two bigs and Camby has an injury. We definitely need to look at bringing another guy into training camp.”

While most people assumes he is talking about Erick Dampier, that seems doubtful since the veteran center wants a fulltime role with a team, not just a temporary position he'll loose when the Blazers get healthy

What? Stop laughing. Stranger things have happened.