It's true, being broke sucks, but not as much as having your arm mangled in a piece of farm equipment--at least that's our motto here at the Portland Mercury. And with that mantra in mind, we decided to come up with some positives about being a poor, penniless slob. Unfortunately, we couldn't think of any except, of course, that you can still afford to get shit-faced at Happy Hour. Clip and save this invaluable list and visit today.
* A star rating means "we really like."
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The Alibi
4024 N Interstate, 287-5335
Happy Hour: 4-6 weekdays, free apps, wells $2.75-3, $1.75 pints, free midnight buffet on Sat. You'll feel like you've been whisked away to an island cabana, but even better, a cabana with free buffalo wings and karaoke.
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash, 226-0430
Happy Hour: 4-8, weekdays, $2 food menu, $2 wells and micros. Chicken strips, burgers, grilled cheese--all for two bucks. Plus, come for the eye-candy bonus: bike messengers.
Basta's
410 NW 21 st, 274-1572
Happy Hour: 4-6 weekdays, $3 food, beer, and wells. Usually expensive Italian for just a few bones.
Chez Grill 2229
SE Hawthorne, 239-4002
Happy Hour Food Specials: 4-6; 10-close everyday (Sundays open at 5) $2.95 bar menu, plus discounted items from regular menu (quesadillas, tacos, oyster po' boy, salads). The high-brow, healthy, drink-spiked alternative to scarfing Taco Bell and a 40-ouncer in your car.
Copper Penny 5932
SE 92nd, 777-1415
Happy Hour: 9-11, $1 buffet Tues, $1 wells Tues, $1 ladies' wells Wed, buy-one-get-one-free drinks on Thurs. Get wasted and grind.
Egyptian Room
3701 SE Division, 236-8689
Happy Hour: 50¢ off everything, 11:30-7 weekdays, $1.50 wells and domestic taps 8-10 Fri. Lesbo-riffic mecca, with great dancing and super cheesy karaoke.
Fellini
121 NW 6th, 243-2120
Happy Hour: 4-6, $2 well. Start getting drunk early, before thrashing out your aggressions at a Satyricon punk show.
* Highway House
5301 NE Portland Hwy, 282-8000
Happy Hour: Tues, 3 tacos for $1, 6 pm 'till they run out of tacos. 5-6 weekdays, half-price pints, $2 wells. A great, low-brow joint to tank up on tacos after dropping your significant other off at the airport.
Holman's
15 SE 28th, 231-1093
Happy Hour: 4-7 weekdays, $1.75 wells, plus daily specials. As comfortable as sitting in your kitchen; cheap food and people as poorly dressed as you.
*Huber's
411 SW 3rd, 228-5686, 4-6 weekdays
Happy Hour: $1.95 apps w/$2 drink purchase. Surprisingly cheap and tasty food for such a hoity-toity atmosphere.
*The Kingston
2021 SW Morrison, 224-2115
Happy Hour: $1 menu 5-7, 11-close. (Cheese bread, tacos, and burros) Saturdays, $2 highballs all day. Sports-nut haven, where regular people don't feel like assholes.
*Low-Brow Lounge
1036 NW Hoyt, 226-0200
Happy Hour: 5-7 everyday (closed Sun), $1 off micros, domestics, wells. Mellow and awesome; try the corndog/tater-tot basket with your cheap drink and hot barkeep.
*Pazzo
627 SW Washington, 228-1515
Happy Hour: Free apps 5-6 Mon-Thurs. Take an after-work date to this intimate restaurant. They'll be impressed by the delicious food, the great service, and of course (sniff) your good taste.
* Poor Richard's Restaurant
3907 NE Broadway, 288-5285
Happy Hour: 5-7 weekdays, free apps (fried mushrooms, chicken tenders, tacos), 5-7 everyday, double wells for price of singles ($2.75). Old-timey and comfortable, this Sandy staple never disappoints.
Portland Steak & Chophouse
121 SW 3rd, 223-6200
Happy Hour: 3:30¯6:30; 9:30-close daily, $1.95 bar menu (10 selections -1/4 lb. white cheddar cheeseburger, caesar salad, etc.) Huge apps that taste great, plus you might walk out with a sugardaddy.
Scooter McQuade's
1321 SW Washington, 248-4060
Happy Hour: $1.95 apps 4-6 weekdays $1.50 beers, $2 wells 4-6 weekdays; drink special rotates on the hour Sun 9-1; 2 for 1 JELL-O shots Tues, $2 micros 9-12 Wed, ladies $2 well 9-11 Thurs. Show your new boyfriend how easily you swallow JELL-O shots and grease in this long, sharp, chill haven.
Sweetwater's Jam House
3350 SE Morrison, 233-0333
Happy Hour: 11:30-6; 10-close everyday, $2 wells, $2 pints. Try to ignore the excessive, faux-Jamaican decorations by getting shit-faced.
* The Virginia Café
725 SW Park, 227-0033
Happy Hour: Food specials, 4-7 everyday $2.25-6.25; Doubles for $1-2 more (depending on liquor), $1 off micros 4-7 Sun-Wed, Fri, all day and night Thurs and Sat (except 7-8); $2 wells, $3 calls, $4 specialty drinks Thurs and Sat (except 7-8); drink specials Sun, Tues, Wed 9-11. This low-brow downtown staple gets down, dirty, and delicious.
