We are a nation of individual excess. We crave one plate with a huge amount of steaming food piled upon it. We do not wish to share this food with anyone else, but prefer to stuff it all down our own fat faces. The whole tapas movement is thus a blow to our American sensibilities. It involves not one big plate, but many little plates, with about three bites of food on each one. And instead of stuffing it all down your own fat face, the movement encourages sharing the plates among your party. As a result, you will never leave a tapas bar feeling full unless you order about 10 different dishes--dishes which, despite their infinitesimal size, cost the SAME PRICE as normal-sized dishes at a normal restaurant.

It's ridiculous, and yet the tapas movement has caught on, which is why restaurants like Tabla have been sprouting like weeds. Located on one of Portland's yuppified hot spots, 28th and East Burnside, Tabla blends right in with a sparkling, elegant interior design that includes a gorgeous bar/counter area, high ceilings, and a lovely view of the immaculate kitchen area. It is, above all else, pleasant to be in.

And if you can get some in your mouth before it gets snapped up, Tabla's food ain't half bad. With a perfect blend of vegetarian and meat dishes, its menu truly has something for everyone. My party started with the blinis (a sort of gourmet pancake) with mushroom ragu and creme fraiche, and was quite content. Each of us got one bite of the fluffy pastry, and found that the mushrooms were perfectly blended with a bay leaf seasoning. From there we moved on to the chili and garlic-tossed spaghetti, of which we each managed to procure one forkful. This dish, too, was delicious, but even if you are a fan of tapas, I strongly discourage ordering it. You can get three times as much delicious pasta for only a couple of dollars more next door at La Buca. If you're going to blow money on the tapas fad, at least get something unique, like the crispy snapper with chive-whipped potatoes and orange mustard ($10), a dish that makes your chest hurt, it's so good. Or try the baked eggplant stuffed with risotto and black olives ($9), which my party voted the best dish of the night.

The only item Tabla didn't do right was a flank steak and onion concoction that was surprisingly bland and tough. We probably deserved that, though, since the flank steak was the most unoriginal item we could have ordered off a meat list that includes duck, squab, lamb, and poussin. Fortunately, Tabla quickly redeemed itself with a divinely gooey chocolate dessert. I moved fast for that one and managed two whole spoonfuls before it was gone, and dammit, they were good.

Tapas fans, I disagree with you, but if you insist on indulging your silly habit, Tabla is the place for you. They know what they're doing in the kitchen, the alcohol selection is pitch perfect, and the service is friendly. Enjoy your miniature wonderland. I'll be up the street at Holman's; pint in one hand, a burger in the other, and a big ol' mess of fries in front of me that are mine, all mine.