3131 SE 12th, 236-6761, Noon-7 pm
The Berlin Inn makes fabulous German food, so let's assume they make a fabulous turkey dinner. The standard turkey, potato, stuffing, and vegetables feast only costs $16.95 here, plus turkey haters can order off the regular menu. The Berlin Inn also sports Portland's largest collection of German wines! Call for a reservation the day of to ensure prompt seating.
2821 SE Stark, 232-3704, Opens 8 pm
Since I'm always avoiding the hassle of flying home, I spend all my favorite holidays at the Bonfire. They'll serve their regular cheap and tasty menu of gyros, salads, pasta, burgers, and burritos, plus splendid cocktails. This is also a great destination if you want to take Mom and Dad for a nightcap.
Bread and Ink Café
3610 SE Hawthorne, 239-4756,
Breakfast 8 am-Noon, Dinner 2 pm-8 pm
Not only is the Bread and Ink serving traditional breakfasts on Thanksgiving--make sure you try their cheese blintzes--they're also serving a turkey dinner. While reservations are recommended, they're not required, and with seatings from 2 pm until 8 pm, you'll be able to slide in somewhere. Lo and behold, it's that Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving you were hoping for (with fresh-baked bread included), and you don't have to lift a finger.
5700 SW Terwilliger, 246-6963, noon-8 pm
While most "fancy" restaurants require you to have Thanksgiving Day reservations long before now, the Chart House doesn't. And for $21.95 per person ($9.95 for kids), it offers a sweet deal on expertly prepared turkey, cranberry relish, cornbread stuffing, creamed spinach, mashed potatoes, and sweet potatoes. All while you enjoy one of the most spectacular views in town.
McMenamins Courtyard Restaurant
5736 NE 33rd, 288-2192, 7 am-midnight
Although their Thanksgiving Buffet is all booked up, you can dine in the Kennedy School's Courtyard Restaurant, and they promise to provide a special that's turkey-related. Plus, afterwards you can digest in the Kennedy School's soaking pool for $5.
3402 SE Division, 232-4407
Dessert emergency? Call ahead to Pix Patisserie--they'll be open for pick-ups on T Day, so if your pumpkin pie flops, your dessert spread doesn't have to.
3100 NE Sandy, 238-0543, Opens 9 pm
Recommended primarily for drinking, here's a bar that's open, has pool, allows smoking, and provides a dark respite from a long day of stuffing your face.
15 SW 2nd, 790-9090, Opens 8 pm
No turkey for you? Order XV's huge plate of spicy jerked squid on greens, drizzled with lime sauce. Delicious, festive, and if you're smart, served with a shot of chartreuse.