Must Love Dogs dir. Goldberg Opens Fri July 29 Various Theaters My therapist doesn’t like to hear it, but having low expectations works well for me. Take Must Love Dogs, for example. I thought it would totally suck. I looked at the movie poster–which has a photo of Diane Lane sitting on a park bench […]
Katie Shimer
Posted inBooks
How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved
How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved by Sandra L. Brown, appearing at Laughing Horse Books, 3652 SE Division, Thurs July 28, 5 pm What woman hasn’t had a shitty boyfriend? Like the serial cheating asshole, or the alcoholic drug addict, or like that dude I dated for a year who never […]
Posted inUncategorized
Be Mine, Valentine’s
The New Portland Sandwich
Valentine’s 232 SW Ankeny 248-1600 (Valentines has changed considerably since this review was written, much of the information is no longer relevant) One of the most adorable qualities of Portland folk is their allegiance to local products and businesses. We liberal corporation haters love to buy local fashions, drink locally distilled vodkas (New Deal, anyone?), […]
Posted inUncategorized
On-Air Eats
The Best Food on TV
Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse are two of the shittiest chefs in the entire world. Puck’s mass-marketed canned soups taste like they were scraped off the floor of a chemical factory, and Lagasse’s “Emeril” brand spaghetti sauces are as nuanced as packets of ketchup. So forget those two hacks, the best chefs are those who […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Say Yes to Drugs
Wedding Crashers is Totally High
Wedding Crashers dir. Dobkin Opens Fri July 15 Various Theaters I’m not sure how often actors get ripped on cocaine while filming a movie, but it’s my suspicion this was the case when Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, and the hilarious Bradley Cooper (Wet Hot American Summer) were filming Wedding Crashers. All four look […]
Posted inUncategorized
Fine Food Foibles
Patanegra Stumbles
Patanegra 1818 NW 23rd Pl. 227-7282 In restaurants, there are lots of things I can forgive. Overcooked food isn’t one of them. In almost every case, I like food rare or just done. Broccoli that’s still crunchy, beef that’s bloody and flavorful, and even pork that’s cooked just enough not to give me trichinosis. Patanegra–while […]
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Armchair AA
Why God Invented Hangovers
Recently, I realized something. If my debaucherous behavior didn’t have consequences, I’d be a raging alcoholic all the time. On Monday mornings, I’d wake up, call in sick to work, have a few mimosas, ring up one of my restaurant industry friends, have ’em bring over some blow, snort it, and then engage in some […]
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The Great Outdoors
Plus Dinner and a Cocktail
Sure, I go on a hike about twice a year and tube down the Sandy River at least once (note to self: put car keys in a zippered pocket this year). I don’t, however, spend all that much time in the outdoors just relaxing and breathing in the air. My foolproof method for increasing the […]
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Dieting for Dollars
A Pound of Flesh Isn’t Worth the Price
True confessions: When I’m really hungover I order Domino’s pizza and hot wings and eat them in bed while watching TV. At least once a week I drink no less than three whiskey cokes at Club 21 and then order and subsequently demolish a delicious Club burger–soon after, I pass out. I do my best […]
Posted inMovies & TV
The Cliché of Sodomy
Is it Mysterious Skin or Fox 12 News?
Mysterious Skin dir. Araki Opens Fri June 24 Cinema 21 Usually I say what I think. If I hate a movie, I say it, and if I love it, I offer underhanded compliments. But in the case of Mysterious Skin, I feel tentative and unsure. For long periods of the film, I waited for my […]
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Vaseline Alley
A Sampler of Downtown’s Gay Bars
It may not be the most PC admission, but I use gay pride weekend as an excuse to ogle hot gay men in their hot gay underpants (or, even better, hot gay men without their hot gay underpants). Besides the parade, the best place to do this in Portland is the part of town nicknamed […]