In the wintertime, after a holiday season of listening to your family tell you how stupid all your life choices are, and how smart and rich your sister is, and after finally realizing how poor, bored, and alone you really are, the natural temptation is to hit the bottle. Some people might tell you not […]
Katie Shimer
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The Thai Dilemma
Halo Thai: Tasty But Not Racy
Halo Thai 1625 NE Alberta546-7063 After years of wolfing down Thai food in Portland I’ve learned a couple things. Number One: Order what you know–very rarely will you find yourself dazzled by some wacky menu specialty. Number Two: If you want to be dazzled by some wacky menu specialty, you should go to a higher-end […]
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20 Things Not Invited Back to 2005!
When we started the Mercury in 2000, we had one goal in mind: ridding Portland of every stinking hippie. With the last remaining few hippies safely imprisoned on Hawthorne, we now have the luxury of turning our attention to other nagging annoyances. While the following 20 things may have been popular in 2004, now it’s […]
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Remember Old Town
Voleur Stakes Its Claim
Voleur 111 SW Ash 227-3764 Old Town is a bizarre intersection of all things Portland. It houses the historic Shanghai tunnels and staple rock clubs Ash Street and Berbati’s, it’s an epicenter for the homeless, a hotbed of drug activity, and a hub for public transit, all the while supporting highbrow businesses like the clothing […]
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Look Who’s Coming to Dinner
A Christmas Feast About Town
Surprisingly enough, not everyone has the great fortune of having a wonderful family to spend the holidays with. In fact, some people have no families, or they have evil families, or their families are on a cruise, or are wrongfully imprisoned for ties to al-Qaida. Whatever the case, not having a family doesn’t mean you’re […]
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We Hate Candy And We Don’t Like Cookies Either
A Counterpoint/Counterpoint Discussion
Candy sucks. And this stupid candy issue sucks worse. Candy is just a gimmick designed to kill children, and this issue is just another Mercury gimmick to lure in an idiot readership. “Oh, hey there, idiot. You like candy, right? You know what else you might like? The Mercury! It’s like candy for your brain!” […]
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That Perfect Drink
Specialty Cocktails Worth Celebrating
There are occasions, albeit rare, when one prefers a quality alcoholic beverage over a bucket glass filled to the rim with cheap booze. These scenarios range from the final peaceful hour before your in-laws fly into town to the 45 minutes between that painful breakup and your swan dive off the Fremont Bridge. Whatever the […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Subtlety Sells
Spanglish Succeeds In the Details
Spanglish dir. Brooks Open Fri Dec 17 Various Theaters For the entire last month, the commercial for Spanglish has left me crying. Maybe it’s this fucked-up family movie’s proximity to Christmas, or that the hysterical mom reminds me of my own, or maybe it’s just that the trailer is manipulatively edited, but I anticipated the […]
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Less Is More
Bar Pastiche Provides Everything You Need
Bar Pastiche 3731 SE Hawthorne 236-4760 As Portland gets bigger, it gets trendier, and more niche restaurants pop up. In the last decade or so, we’ve acquired upscale Vietnamese restaurants, highbrow diners, exclusive gourmet family style dining, martini bars, vegan and raw food options, fancy fondue spots, and of course, a resurgence of tapas. Portland’s […]
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The 2004 Drunk Olympics
Three Mercury Reporters Go for the Gold (Unsurprisingly, They Had to Get Drunk First)
Hockey? Dreary. Running? Lame. Shot put? Please. If the 2004 Olympics taught us anything, it’s that the Olympics are wholly and unequivocally boring. In response to the 2004 Olympics, the geniuses at the Mercury came up with a far better, more compelling challenge of athletic and mental prowess and endurance to pass the long days […]
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The Cure for Winter
Visit Your Local Soup Gourmet
On Friday night I stopped at Safeway and bought shrimp flavored Cup-o-Noodles for dinner. On Saturday I drove to Fred Meyer and picked up a can of Campbell’s chicken noodle. On Sunday I slurped soup at Pho Jasmine, and by Monday I was wondering whether Chaba Thai stills serves their signature sour-sweet squid and pork […]
Posted inMusic
Bach to the Future!
An Interview with My Lover (I Wish!) Sebastian Bach
Sebastian Bach first enjoyed mega-success as leader of Skid Row, one of the most commercially successful hair metal bands of the late ’80s/early ’90s. Then he spiraled into relative obscurity. Now, he’s resurrected himself from the cold cinders of buttrock, creating a multi-platform career which includes starring on Broadway, touring the world with his band […]