Credit: Joe Raedle / Getty

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Joe Raedle / Getty

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I would take every second, every single time, spend it like my last dime, step to the beat of my heart. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Joey Gibson, best known as the butthole right-wing leader of the troll club “Patriot Prayer” group, is planning on running for the US Senate in Washington. It will be a delight to watch his dreams be destroyed.

The Trump administration brought their Dreamers appeal to the Supreme Court—and were quickly shut down.

As promised, Trump is slashing Federal agencies including those devoted to (surprise!) the environment.

Teens returned today to Parkland, Florida’s Stoneman Douglas High School for the first time since the massacre that killed 17 people.

Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel is in increasingly hot water over his perceived responsibility for the Parkland massacre, with Republicans calling for him to step down.

Major corporations are joining the #BoycottNRA movement, and the gun lobby is in full-blown panic mode.

ICYMI, the Democratic memo that had been held back by the Trump administration was finally released on Saturday—and as expected it made Republican Devin Nunes look like the big fat liar he is.

California Senate veteran Dianne Feinstein has, for the first time, lost the support of the state’s Democratic party who are pushing for a more progressive agenda.

This is a curious—and kind of disturbing—mystery about a CDC researcher who went home sick one day and then… simply vanished.

Something to keep your eye on: The Communist Party of China has done away with term limits for their president, which could allow leader Xi Jinping to be “dictator for life.”

TODAY IN GOOD ADVICE:

Director Kevin Smith—best known for his film Clerks—says he suffered a major heart attack last night, but is recovering.

Omarosa has been kicked out of the Celebrity Big Brother house—and of course she didn’t go down without a hilariously embarrassing fight.

Now let’s examine the WEATHER: A mostly dry day with a high of 46.

And finally, YES. That is a dog riding on the back of a moped. And YES, it just so happens to be carrying an umbrella in its mouth. Why is this so weird to you?

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)