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Poor Jared Kushner
Poor Jared Kushner Getty Images

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! You must have heard it from my best friend. She’s always talkin’ when she should be listenin’. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Today in EXTREME TONE-DEAFNESS: An Oregon youth softball team is raising money by raffling off an AR-15 assault rifle. Yes, they know what they’re doing, and no, they don’t care.

Apparently Mayor Ted Wheeler is giving the beleaguered Portland Marathon another chance, and people are not happy about it.

The Blazers hot streak continues with a nice win against the Kings, 116-99. Our Arthur Bradford has the deets and half-time fan photos!

Dick’s Sporting Goods has announced it will no longer sell assault-style rifles and high capacity magazines at their stores.

Senior adviser/chinless weasel Jared Kushner had his top secret security clearance downgraded, which never should’ve been granted in the first place. And in a related story, HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

Another reason Jared Kushner absolutely should NOT have his job? This, from the Washington Post:

Officials in at least four countries have privately discussed ways they can manipulate Jared Kushner, the president’s son-in-law and senior adviser, by taking advantage of his complex business arrangements, financial difficulties and lack of foreign policy experience, according to current and former U.S. officials familiar with intelligence reports on the matter.

Speaking of probable collaborating criminals, White House Communications Director Hope Hicks—the girlfriend of ousted accused domestic abuser Rob Porter—refused to answer questions when grilled by the House Intelligence Committee about what she witnessed during the Trump transition. HOWEVER she did go so far as to admit she occasionally told little “white lies” for Trump—though nothing pertaining to the Russia investigation, of course! OF COURSE.

Speaking of probable collusion: Paul Manafort has pleaded not guilty to the latest charge leveled against him by Mueller’s investigators, and will go to court in September.

Trump criticizes Jeff Sessions again, this time for hiring someone the president doesn’t like to investigate the situation behind Nunes’ lie-filled memo.

NSA Chief Mike Rogers (deservedly) threw Trump under the bus, because the president is fully aware that our elections are under attack by the Russians, and yet he hasn’t ordered anyone to do anything about it.

TODAY IN “SWAMP STILL NOT DRAINED”: “Federal agency ‘spent $31,000 on Ben Carson’s office furniture’.”

TODAY IN HEROISM: Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf heard that ICE agents were going to conduct a big raid in the Bay area—so she tipped the immigrants off. Guess who didn’t like that?

West Virginia teachers have ended their week-long strike and are expected back to work on Thursday after the state’s governor granted the educators a five percent raise.

Oh, and just in case you’re wondering… YES. Singer Barbra Streisand did indeed clone her dog. TWICE.

Now let’s cast a glance toward the WEATHER: A rainy, rainy day with a high of 47.

And finally, who wants to watch Wonder Woman Gal Godot demonstrate her hula-hooping skills? OH, JUST THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)