Venom is the Catwoman of toxic masculinity. It's bad. It's REALLY bad. And on top of being bad (REALLY bad), it also proudly presents a whole bunch of outdated, fucked-up gender politics.

Venom is bad in a way I didn't think it was still possible for superhero movies to be. It's pre-Marvel Cinematic Universe bad. It's pre-X-Men bad. Venom has all the hallmarks of a shitty superhero movie from 10-plus years ago: It's a long, boring origin story with incoherent stakes, an aggressive indifference to the source material, and the color palette of muddy garbage.

And then there's the gender stuff: Tom Hardy's Eddie Brock is a mumbly, Vice-style video journalist who does stuff like show up outside his ex-girlfriend's house late at night and ask if they're getting back together SIX MONTHS after he got her fired and she dumped him. And while I realize that yes, Eddie Brock is a big dumb jerk in the comics, Venom just treats this big dumb jerk like a lovable rascal. (The Venom symbiote that occasionally takes over Brock's body, meanwhile, basically serves as a rowdy wingman. A rowdy wingman who occasionally eats people.)

In his obligatory cameo, even Stan Lee plays into the movie's very bad take on relationships, urging Brock to "get her back." GIRL, HE IS FULL OF BLACK SPACE GOO THAT EATS PEOPLE. YOU CAN DO BETTER.